YOU SAID IT!!

I understand it is irritating that she is not taking care of herself but do you know everything that she is dealing with. Maybe you should ask her if there is something going on and be a little more sympathetic. Sometimes you have to go to the store and you know your kids are going to be bad but you have to go and there is nothing you can do. We are a family like it or not and supporting eachother is the only way to make it through.

I don't think the poster is speaking of one person in particular. I mean that's not how I read it.
As for what someone is going through...we are all going through something.
And please let's not start making excuses for parents that can't control their kids. Now that's what makes me sick.

I will ME TOO to that.
I think it's sad that I get an akward look for being a military wife just because I dress nice, keep myself in shape, and never leave the house without looking presentable.
I hate that people like 'her' make the rest of the world think that miliraty wives are low class, no taste, and uncooth.

Did you ever think that maybe she's suffering from depression? That isn't something that you can just drag yourself out of. Many people (including me) need professional help to drag themselves out of the pit.

In the end, you're only responsible for yourself. If you take care of yourself, why do you care that she's looking a "hot mess?" Why is it any of your business?

Sounds like you are having a bad day! who care what other people are doing? Is it affecting you that much? mind your own business!

I wasn't going to comment, but I think it is OUR business. Just like she said, people like that make the rest of the military wives look bad. And if you don't care it's probably because you are one of the women she is talking about.

I hope my 3 yr old irriates the hell out of you in the middle of the store. What would you rather I did? Starve to death or grocery shop?

To those who are saying "why does it affect you?" and "mind your business" and such, I just have to ask this. Are you not aware of how we all represent our husbands in everything we do? I mean, love it or loathe it, it's the fact of the matter. It's just like the person who posted this thing said, you don't have to look like a model or something, just halfway decent like you give a rip. I know that I've gone out in jeans, a t-shirt, and a baseball cap before when I was taking my kids to the playground, and I think that's fitting. But even in jeans, t-shirt, and hat, my hair was brushed and put up neatly, my clothes were clean and well fitting, and my kids were dressed appropriately for the weather, and made to behave. I mean, this is pretty much common sense. Nobody's saying we must all wear couture to the playground or anything like that.

We all represent our husbands, and we all represent military wives as a whole. Don't you want to be represented well? I do, and that's why I do my part, and dress appropriately for the activity I'm doing, and try to look well kept even if I'm only going to the park or the commissary.

Looking decent is a matter of personal pride. Shouldn't we ALL have pride in ourselves? To me, this is a no brainer. I don't know why some people act like it's an outlandish request.

I don't really care how I make other military wives "look"--and I say that as someone who does the dress-up/make-up/hair thing every day of my life. It's not my job to be a poster girl for the armed service spouses, any more than it is another woman's. Jeez.

I agree. Pull it together. However you need to do it, (pills, counseling, a new hair dresser, or a spa day) you don't have to ALWAYS look like you are down in the pitts.

Hell yeah you said it. All these women do is make themselves look like lazy trash, that can't take care of themselves or their children. I say keep your lazy ass at home cause i get tired of seeing all these nasty people

I wonder why new women coming think we are so CATTY??? HMMMM I just can't tell why anyone would ever think we were mean. I am one of the ones who does always brush my hair and wear clean clothes and so do my children. Although every once in a while my child does have a meltdown in the store and all you women who say your kids are well behaved are lying if you say your child has NEVER thrown a fit in public.

Women do this even not in war time! I don't care what kind of hurry you are in or what you are going through there is time for bras, hairbrushes and at least lipgloss.

You have too much time on your hands OP, maybe you should worry about you and not other people? Why do you have to defend someone you don't even know, how are they making you look bad?? Keep out of other people's business....

I get it. I do. Nobody wants "nasty" representing them. But here's the thing... I take care of myself for me. Why in the world should I do it for anyone else? All of these comments sound like "Well, whether I like it or not, my husbands job is sooooo important, that I have to..." wth?? How "she" dresses DOES NOT affect my husbands job. Only hers. And if her husband can't tell her to get her act together, then it's not my place either...

"Fix yourself up and have some pride about yourself. Represent your husband and your family better than you have been. Your life should not be this out of control. And even if it is, it shouldn’t be obvious just by looking at you."

That was the best part of this post. have some pride about yourself. Care enough for you and your family to look presentable when you go in public. Why do some of you act like that is a bad thing? Did she hit home or something?

It saddens me to see all this judgement. I live my life for myself and my family, nobody else. Worry about yourselves, not others. All this time judging people is time wasted. Concentrate on the important things in life.

Here's a little bit of information that people learn after having just ONE child: YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN A CHILD IS GOING TO THROW A TANTRUM! If a parent knew when their child was going to have a tantrum, my God, parenting would be so close to being simple!!!!!!!! And I'm sorry, but I'd rather a person accept me for who I am while wearing torn up clothes, and not accept me for looking nice and being a snobby stuck up wife. As a mother of two, kids take priority when it comes down to things. You learn to put yourself last and them ahead of you. Maybe if you have kids, you'll understand.

I can't stand it when people see fit to make judgements on others. Why don't you worry about yourself and quit looking down your damn nose at people. Yeah I keep fit, I make sure I look presentable before I leave the house, I do my best to keep my kids under control,but I DONT think Im better than anybody else because of it.

It is hard when you have kids and are all alone in raising them if your husband is deployed. However, I am trying to figure out why you care so much. Just saying that I think a military wife cheating makes military wives look way worse then this does. And not that many people complain about that. And I think that even makes us look bad that most don't care that military spouces cheat. Just my opinion.

People like that make military wives look bad?

PUH-LEEZE. Only if she's wearing a wives shirt every single time she leaves the house.

She may not be looking in the mirror, but chances are, she's got a lot more going on than you'll ever guess. You look down your nose at people all you want, and some day, karma's gonna bite you back.

this is the most ridiculous thing i have ever head of someone (much less so many) argue about. Seriously if you are really so upset about what someone else is doing then there is something missing from your own life.

Wow. Just...wow.

One person dressed slobbily, in my very humble opinion, is not soley representing all military wives. i think, anyone with half a brain cell would know not every wife is slob with ill mannered kids.

That personmaybe have been having a bad day. maybe dealing with depression. A myraid of things.

Think about it before you judge.

ya know...I went to the store the other day and sure enough I saw a lady that knows she could have just taken 5 extra minutes to pull herself together. And no she was not in any hurry, or anything like that. it was obvious. That is just how she chose to leave the house. I did feel embarrassed and I thought about this post.

I get it. I do. But I think the people that don't get it are the ones that don't know that people are wondering, "what's wrong with her?"

I guess it takes all kinds of people to make the world go round. And it's women like that, that make me want to take a little time to have some pride about myself.

you know what is truly so funny about this argument?
i have pride in myself for the college degree that i have,
the savings my husband and i have made, the fact that my oldest daughter is in the gifted program, and many other things that have nothing to do with how i look.
If i go to the store one day in some sweats and T-shirt with my hair pulled up into a messy bun I think little about what people might think of me because I have much higher standards then something so superficial.
Most of the people I council talk about never leaving the house looking one way or another because of their own insecurities not because of others.

I hear ya!

At least look descent when your kid throws a fit!

I've even been to homecomings where wives don't even put a pair of heels on!!!!!!!

We're representing our husbands? What is this, 1950?
We're representing ourselves.

"you know what is truly so funny about this argument?
i have pride in myself for the college degree that i have,
the savings my husband and i have made, the fact that my oldest daughter is in the gifted program, and many other things that have nothing to do with how i look.
If i go to the store one day in some sweats and T-shirt with my hair pulled up into a messy bun I think little about what people might think of me because I have much higher standards then something so superficial.
Most of the people I council talk about never leaving the house looking one way or another because of their own insecurities not because of others."

I'll ME TOO that for sure. I don't go out not looking nice but that's for myself. I don't feel comfortable going out not looking well presented. I don't like it how people think that's taking pride in myself, it isn't, it's insecurity actually so don't praise me about it. Really I'm far more proud of my intellectual achievements in life than how well I apply my eyeliner.

I feel you girl! But some women just can not be as fabulous as I am so I bear my cross alone. LOL (joking-not really)
I don't care what they look like. The worse they look the better I look. And no it's not an image issue at all. I LOVE the way I look, in and out of clothes. In and out of make-up. Doesn't matter to me. My mother instilled self worth in me and I value myself beyond my looks. I have a college degree too. And I was the shit when I was in college. I have a great job and I am the shit at that too. But at the end of the day, she has to look at herself in the mirror and I have to look at myself in the mirror. More than likely, only one of us is loving what we see.

That would be ME!

Why should I spend 30-60 minutes in front of the mirror to run into the store and be in there for under 10 minutes? Maybe you should quit being so damn judgemental. Why don't you worry more about the wives who are cheating on their husbands, and how that makes us look as a whole, rather than the wives who might be having an off day, and not want to stare at themselves in the mirror all day!? Some people.. I swear..

SETTING THE RECORD STRAIGHT! I am the one who posted this hot topic!
First let me state that I was not talking about anyone in particular. I was speaking in general. I said that because so many women stop taking the time to care about themselves, and forget that whatever is happening on the inside will eventually reflect on the outside. Whether it be the inside of your home or the inside of your heart, it will show.
I never said you had to wear expensive clothes. That’s your own issue about wanting things you can’t afford.
I never said you had to wear make-up. That’s apparently what you think makes you look pretty. I said WASH YOU FACE. Now if you have a problem with washing your face, then your issues go far beyond this board.
I never said you had to be in the salon every day. I said comb your hair. And again…that is not something that should be asked of anyone.
The post was not about getting all dolled up for a quick run to the store. The post was about how you present yourself EVERYWHERE you go.
And whether you know it or not, like it or not, you and your actions do reflect on your family and your husband. You can linger in denial all you want.
And as for judgment…PLEASE! Stating the obvious is not judgment.

I don't see why it matters so much to you what other people do. You don't know all these women personally that you see, or what their story is, what their day has been like. If you think that military wives have such a bad reputation, you can change your own facade, but until you are walking in someone else's shoes, don't judge. Their life isn't yours to live.

OMG!!! She is just trying to say have some freaking pride in yourself. I am not one to think you should get all dolled up for a quick run to the store but you should at least brush your hair and wash your face. Even if you are just wearing sweats and a tshirt (bc we all do have bad days) then swipe some mascara on..it takes 5 sec and pull your hair back neatly. THATS ALL SHE IS SAYING! As far as saying dont judge, o come on you know you prob do it as well but about other things. Its human nature do it no matter how hard you try not to.

You got to be kidding. I see nothing wrong with what she said. I don't see how some of you got so offended. I guess you were the ones she is talking about. I mean c'mon...she asked you to wash your face, comb your hair, and have some pride about yourself, and you get all pissed. What does that say about you?

I dont care what other wives wear at the NEX or where ever, I do however like the fact that when we go to the NEX or commissary I make an effort at least in jeans and a nice t shirt and BRUSHED HAIR AND TEETH and there are MORE women in sweats and unbrushed hair than not, I do get a swagger in my walk lmao Only because for MYSELF and no one else I choose to not go in public looking like death warmed over.
Sorry but you can in fact go to the NEX and commissary and see 8 out of 10 wives in sweats with unbrushed hair and such, when you have that many it DOES reflect on us all as a whole.
But like I said I could careless I choose to make an effort even when Iv been sicker than a dog Ill put on my jeans and a nice t shirt and BRUSH my hair maybe even some foundation and a little eye makeup (cause without it lol my lashes are so short I cant stand it lol).
I like looking good for myself when I go in public, hell around my house Im in my pj pants and a t shirt if I havent got anywhere to go or anything to do.

I have to admit...Im a new person to the whole military life and I was really surprised...It scared me....I wondered if this was the norm and would I eventually look like that???? Sorry, but I think she's right! Cmon' brushing your hair isn't too much to ask....Thank God I see that Im not crazy and not every wife turns into the "What happened to her?" girl!....a little constructive criticism is okay once in a while!!! If it applies to you then do something.. if not, then "BRAVO"...I wanna be like you!! :)

For all of those that think the way someone else looks is not a refection on them....you are fooling yourself.

Ii brush my hair or put it up in a pony tail (if Im having a real bad hair day) JUST TO WALK OUTSIDE AND TAKE OUT THE TRASH!
I put on jeans and a bra and shirt, JUST TO WALK OUTSIDE AND CHECK THE MAIL OR TAKE OUT THE TRASH.
Maybe Im just the weird one who is NOT comfortable going in public in sweats and un brushed hair...
If I at least get dressed and run a brush through my hair to take out the trash, you know I do the same or more to go to the store lol
Im not ganna be the scary lady with ratty hair and sweats and slippers in public lol even when Im sicker than a dog I put something on lol.
Im neurotic about my appearance, theres times I have felt liek crap and decided not to put any sort of makeup on, just got dressed and brushed my hair, but the second we get in the truck and I look in the mirror lol Im pulling out my makeup and putting AT LEAST some powder foundation and mascara on lol(yes I keep makeup in my purse lol I have a makeup bag in my bathroom and I carry extra powder foundation mascara, eye liner, and lipsticks in my purse lol)
Its just how Iv always been keep extra on me for just in case because I know for myself no matter how crappy I feel Im ganna get in the car look in the mirror and second guess every deciding to walk out of the house with no makeup :D
"there is no such thing as natural beauty" love that quote by dolly lmao

Man, I don't even know what to say to this.
Why would someone care so much about what OTHER people are wearing?
I'll admit, I shower, do my hair, put on makeup and try to look nice whenever I'm leaving the house, but that's for ME. That's because it makes ME feel better. It's not for everyone else.
Why should these women care what YOU think of them? Why should they get all dressed up so YOU will think better of them?
Honestly, if you're the type of person who feels like this, I'd say they're better off dressing how they do and not associating with people like you.

I think that if you are in the NEX, then you are not "representing" the military to anyone... because everyone there is military. And we all know what it is to have 3 kids under 5 with an absentee husband.

Going to the civilian shopping mall with a "Proud of My Sailor" shirt looking like a slob, though... that's a different matter.

well i wasnt gonna comment on this but for some reason it just irks me...i thought we wernt in highschool anymore...why do you care what other people look like? i realize that we represent our husbands but nobody is perfect....im sure there are days where youve gone in public not looking so hot...im so sick of the wives that butt their noses where they dont belong. people have bad days...and apparently you dont have kids or you beat them....kids act up in the store some point in time. just mind your own business the next time you are in public...and quit wearing your husbands rank on your shoulders

I agree with you completely. I live near Fort Bragg and I am sick and tired of these women looking horrible. Thats why people do think that military wives are trash because most of these women are wearing their husbands baggy PT's and dirty shirts with gross hair. I am amazed when I go on base and I see military wives looking like they just got out of bed and forgot to take a bath. Comeone at least make sure your clothes and kids are clean before you leave the house.

Hello. I have been a military wife for only three years. Personally, I have never seen any of the wives out in public looking too badly. The wives I have seen at the PX or various other places look well groomed. So what if a person goes to the store in sweat clothes once in a while. What is it hurting? This has nothing to do with you! I wear nice clothes when I go to work or a nice dinner with my husband, but I like sweat clothes too! Sweats are extremely comfortable! I don't dress for other people. I am not representing military wives everywhere. The only person I am representing is myself. If I happen to step outside in sweat clothes one day and people want to talk about me because of it, it is only because they have insecurities. It is just petty and judgemental and very jr. high to worry about what everyone else is wearing. Who cares?
I do not have any children, but I am sure all kids have misbehaved in public before at one time or other. Kids have bad days too.

THANK YOU! I totally agree! I have a 3 month old but I still manage to clean myself up and look good when I got to the commisary or PX. You are technically going to your husbands job! What if you run into someone from his unit or his Commander!? What would you say about the way you look? When going on post esp present yourself with class! You never know who youll run into and how it could effect your husband and yourself!

Why should it matter to anyone how other people dress? Society has become so superficial and so shallow in this day and age. How I dress depends on where I am going. For work, I wear business suits. At a social event I wear jeans and a top (unless the event calls for a more formal attire). In my everyday weekend life I like track suits and sweat clothes and old comfy jeans. Some of my comfy clothes may be old, but they are clean and so am I. I am about comfort. Maybe people who go out in sweats and gym clothes are just more comfortable in that and maybe they have enough confidence that they don't need to feel the need to impress others by what they wear. I have brought this topic up to my husband and our friends and we all fail to see why anyone (including the commander) would care what wives of soldiers wear. It is nobody's business and has nothing to do with the service member's work ethic. Also, presenting yourself with class goes beyond the surface of clothes and hair and make up. Class has more to do with attitude and actions and words. There are people dressed in beautiful clothes who can't present themselves with class and there are those dressed more casually who have more class than anyone in the room, because of their actions towards others. And if I see my husband's commander or anyone else he works with I do not feel the need to explain what I am wearing. I did meet many of his colleagues and his commander several times and can't imagine that any of them would care what someone's wife wears to the store. My husband certainly doesn't worry about what the wives of his soldier's have on. I have ran into some of these people at the store and even at my husband's work in less than my best clothes and if they do care what I happen to have on that day, they certainly don't say anything to me. Of course, if they want to say it behind my back, no skin off my nose. I have too much self esteem than to care what anyone else thinks. Maybe I am too new to the military to understand why this would affect my husband, but I don't. Of course, my husband doesn't understand any of this either and neither does anyone we know. Why should his commander care how the wives look anymore than civilian bosses care about how their employees dress when off duty? With the kind of criticism in these posts it is no wonder so many people have problems with body images these days. Thank you!

I can see if you will be seen at his place of work then yeah dress apporiatly otherwise be yourself and why should anybody but myself or my husband care what i wear to go grocery shopping lol heck i have even went in my pj's to the grocery store, slippers and all. and yeah my kids have whined all the way through the store at some point in time but now that they are older not so much otherwise they get push ups right then and now. I really don't care what others think of me by what I wear to the dang store or don't wear but when I go to the unit I am always dressed for that occasion. I wear blue jeans and t-shirts most days.. sorry not the fancy clothes types except for special occasions then has to be almost mandatory formal lol.

I have to say when I started reading this I was taken aback. But then I thought about it. Its not like she's asking anyone to create a work of art. Washing your face and brushing your hair should be things you do. Period. Whether you are representing your husband or not (which I agree that whether we like it or not, we are) you should have enough good personal hygiene to do those things on a daily basis. You might as well do it before you leave the house. But I'll agree even more strongly that the fact that military wives cheat on their husbands (or vise versa) is a MUCH MUCH BIGGER DEAL than whether or not I brushed my hair or washed my face today.

I understand where you are coming from...But I'm on the fence on this one. I, by no means, am hot or skinny, but I try my darndest to be presentable in my full figured size. I try my hardest to buy cute clothes that flatter me. I however, am that Mom with a 3 year old who has not lost the weight yet. It's something I have struggled with every single day since I was 7 so I do take a little offense to that part. I however will NEVER ever go out in public without my hair and make-up done. I've done it once and it was because I had to get my gallbladder out that day-no makeup, jewelry or anything else allowed. I am also the Mom who has a 3 year old that can sometimes annoy you in a store (not always but anyone who has perfect angel children 100% of the time need to show us how because I sure as heck haven't got it figured out)...But to defend those ladies who really do look shabby-there will always be "that someone" who will make any "group" look bad. Whether it's military wives, or Christians, or democrats-there's always a few bad apples in the barrel...But I do agree with others above-what if she is depressed? What if she's making a huge step by even leaving her house? I mean, really, we don't know what she's dealing with. Not everyone one of us is a strong, focused, level headed, Stepford Wife. We try are hardest and maybe that's hers...

Damn girl, what base are you stationed at??? It's a shame that YOU generalize all military wives as being "hot messes". If I go out and see someone that looks like hell I'm not going to call them out on it, because I don't give a damn. I have better things to worry about than what other people look like. Yea, that's right, I have a life. And I recommend you get one too.

I understand that people looking like "hot messes" really upsets you. What upsets me is people who judge other people soley on their appearance and waste their time talking crap about them because they aren't up to their standards.

to comment (1-6-08 @ 10:05)
Where in this post does it say anything about ALL military wives? This post is far from generalization. It is quite specific actually.
And if asking someone to fix themselves up and have some pride about themselves is 'judging' them then so be it. And if my standards of having your face washed, and hair combed is to high for you, then I feel sorry for you. I hope you get around to cleaning yourself up at some point in your life.

IT'S ME AGAIN - THE ONE WHO STARTED THIS!

I take everything I said back. I just looked into the mirror, realized I hadn't brushed my teeth in four days, I smell like armpits, and I've got bbq sauce in my hair.

I just felt like judging others because I feel so badly about myself.

I'm really sorry.

Please forgive me.

The base i am on, they all look like Gold Diggers with coach purses, where are YOU?

What I find sad is that instead of going up to "her"(lumping all hot messes together) and seeing if she needs help in life that you are quick to call her out and put her down. As military wives we should be there for each other to help hold us up when one of us is down. We are a special breed and instead of supporting each other, we are kicking each other when we are done. It's a shame and a disgrace.

Hmm Ok to the one who made the comment about not putting heels on. When my husband finaly dose get home I'm not going to wear heels. For two simple reasons one he's taller than me and two ill be juggling two toddlers by myself dose that make me a slob?? I'm just currious. Come on now get a F***ing life and grow the hell up the shoes dose not make the person and I'm sure that my husband will be just as happy that I'm there and really won't give a damn what I'm wearing.

this isn't just a military thing.
these women are everywhere, and they make ALL women look bad.

OMG, I am new to this whole military wife thing and I was wondering why the wives looked like that. I thought it was 'there thing'. I told my husband that if he expected me to walk out the house looking a 'hot mess' then he can forget it. He laughed and said he knew better.

I'm sorry but I have to agree with this one!

H O O A H and H O O R A H!!!

From the wife of a Marine Corps / Army wife!

I thought about this comment today.

I went to the commissary after the gym. I looked awful, and wondered how many of you princesses were judging me. HA!

Ladies, lets have a little respect for each other. This is the kind of stuff that gives a bad rap too. Pull it together. Helpt the girl in the store with the kids if she needs a hand, don't make fun of her behind her back.

Way to bring down women. Why don't you get a hobby or something and stop worrying about everyone else?

I totally agree with you on this.

But I have a confession to go with this one. lol

You husband is 1st SGT mine is just a SGT. You need to dress yourself and your children with a better apperance. You and your children represent the 1st SGT and our FRG please dress like a 1st SGT wife and not like trailer trash. I would never allow myself or my children to go anywhere let alone a military function the way you do.

Ok I know that is mean but come on now stop giving military wives a bad name. I feel like people are looking and my children and I and the way we dress is going to make an impression on who he works with. I dont go through the whole make-up and doing my hair. But I make sure that we are clean and our hair is brushed. That we have clean matching clothes on. That my "wild" kids use their manners and show respect for others whereever we go. It does not take much to at least wear something that matches. Most of our clothes still come from walmart, but we at least try to look nice.

Everyone that doesn't see the truth in this is just making excuses for themselves and others. they only way you would find this offensive is if you are one of the ones she is talking about and you realize she called your ass out.

Sorry I am onboard with this post 100%.

I'll wash my face, etc but if I leave the house in sweats and no make up an a sloppy ponytail it's because my husband is deployed, my friends are at work and I NEED to go and get something EVEN THOUGH I'M on bed rest. So don't judge people because you don't know what their situation is.

WOW!!

I am a new wife, and NOW I am really scared shitless of you people! I think I'll just stay in my house and hide!!!

wow I was wondering what was going on. I thought it was because we moved to a base in small town so maybe it was just the way people were???
But from this post I see it must be a military wife thing to look all funky and not give a damn.
I sure hope this is not something that is mandatory because I don't want any part of the nasty wife look.

I was thinking of this post when I was at walmart today and then I saw "her" Whether or not she was a Army/Air Force Spouse I have no idea? Fayetteville can be a interesting town
I normally don't judge people or even notice unless they are wearing something crazy. Im by no means saying that I am perfect looking everytime I go out
"She" had those kinda bottoms that come with a PJ set with a huge stain on the right side it looked dirty and a tank top...I know it was in the early seventies today but come one
I tried so hard not to judge maybe she was in the middle of a emergency who knows
There was a time I stumbled into walmart pharmacy first thing in the morning with a presription hair disheved, teeth unbrushed after being up all night with a vomiting kid and I must have looked like a zombie
My point is you never know what someone is going through So for that split second I wanted to think ewwww but I checked myself

As a non-military wife...I think you need to realize that this 'club' sense that you all seem to have (which I am in no way undermining, I think it's great that you have/provide support for each other) is not visible to the 'outside' world. I don't think in generalities such as 'the military wives.' I think you're worrying too much about other people's judgment, while it might be your own group doing most of the judging.

Just because a person doesn't fit your "Proud Military wife" persona doesn't mean she's not proud. Personally, I'm a full time nursing student whose battled breast cancer this year and I go outside wearing makeup or my hair fixed as if I'm going to a damn party. Most of the time my face is washed and my hair is tightly pulled into a bun. So you need to realize just because you have all the time in the world to sit and primp yourself up for hours doesn't mean the rest of us do too. Some of us have higher values than vanity alone, like getting an education and playing with our children, not sitting in front of a mirror for 3 hours applying our makeup meticulously.

That' being said..
I DON"T wear makeup on all the time and I comb my hair into a pony tail, but my demeanor proves how proud I am to be called a ARMY WIFE NOT my appearance.. HOOAH.

Before you judge others ask yourself how you would feel. How would you feel if you had a hereditary condition that made you over weight and there was nothing that could be done and surgery didn't work. How would you feel if someone said you were a bad parent because your 9 year old threw a fit in the store and pooped their pants at the same time and all of this was because your child was mentally retarded. How would you feel if your child was made fun of because at 8 years old they had to use the ladies room with you because they are Autistic and cannot use the restroom alone. How would you feel if you had Manic Depression/Bipolar and just found out at age 26 and were in the process of working on a medication process with your doctor and people said horrid things to you because of how unkempt you were. Think before you judge people. Everyone lives a different life. If you feel the need to judge someone, instead of being a rude bitch to that person, ask what you can do to make their day easier. Be a true military wife and support other wives, don't deminish who they are to build yourself up.

I needed to hear this today...I'm pregnant and find it easy to go out in sweats. I don't feel good about it...it's just a nasty habit....my hair looks good and my face is clean....my kids are well behaved but my husband is a recruiter and we represent him. Putting on clothes only takes a few extra minutes....

Thanks!

I get everyones points. But how do you know that she is not going thru depression as one said, how do you not know that her husband had just been hurt. And as for the kids some kids just dont listen every kid is bad in a store dont try and act as if your kids are perfect and never did one bad thing in the store!!! yes it does reflect on us all but we are all a family and what she really needs is someone to sit and talk with her help her thru her problems. WEARING SWEATS IS NOT A CRIME SO STOP HATING!! I SEE TONS OF PEOPLE EVERYWHERE WEARING THEM! Did you ever think that maybe you could be the one to help her out and help her with kids and get her out of the house get a babysitter and you and her go out have fun help her get her look together...really its not that important because you never know if her husband was hurt or killed its reality. you dont know if shes lost a friend or family member..so dont judge so quickly try talking to her and ask her why she does these things ask her ?s to see if shes going thru depression find out how long its been since shes heard from him that can make you go insane its self!!! i know ive been thru 4 deployments with my husband and i went a almost a yr without a word from him. i just kept hoping he was ok and the fact that i hadnt gotten the news meant something but then again you never know if he was captured you just dont know whats going on in her life or thru her mind! IM HERE FOR YOU GIRL AND ANYONE WHO JUST NEEDS TO TALK ILL LISTEN AND HELP AS MUCH AS I CAN!!!!

Oh, NO! You saw me the one time I went to the store in sweats to get toothpaste because my toddler squeezed the whole tube out before I got to brush my teeth this morning!

omg a homecoming in heels? I thought there was supposed to be running involved... I don't even OWN a pair of heels, much less think about wearing them while 8 months pregnant with 2 kids under 5 and seeing my hubby for the first time in 7 months.

Sooo..if your apperance isn't to everyone elses standards, don't leave the house. If your kids aren't always angels, hire a personal shopper?! I think there is some confusion about how the world works. Not everyone cares what you think of them (rightfully so) and not ever child is an angel 24/7. In fact exposing them to situations like stores and restaurants are the only way to teach them how to behave and respond in those atmospheres. If someone elses parenting or looks bother you that much it's actually much easier if you just leave.

And I pity any poor woman who is having a rough day with the kids or is going through some personal tragedy or medical problem that leaves them without the stregnth and or motivation to get themselves up to yo