hey me too :). If you art strict then you get looked at like "gosh, how mean she is to her children" you can't win. I have actually left a cart full of food because mine have misbehaved so badly. You are not alone. Children will act up and sometimes be angels. Kudos to those with quiet children!

I know what you mean as I am also one of "those" mothers except I have 5 kids running up and down the aisle or chasing each other with the shopping carts. They will be angels right up until we walk in the door and then they go crazy.

I am one of those people that rolls her eyes at people with bad kids and ask the question, "Why can't she control her kids?"
I agree that kids act up and you can never quite tell when and where that will be.
But I want to say thank you. Thank you for atleast being honest with yourself that some days they just don't behave. That doesn't make you a bad parent, and not everyone thinks it does.
I just get so upset with women that try to put their kids bad behavior off on someone or something else. Like it's MY fault that your kid throws tantrums. Or that it's something wrong with ME because your kid wont listen to you. Parents that are in total denial is who I roll my eyes at. And YES we can tell who they are.
GIVE HIM THE DAMN KIDDIE BASKET!
He can knock into me all he wants. Hell I may knock his basket a few times too while DH spends 10minutes trying to figure out which flavor of Gatorade he wants.

Keep your head up.

I feel you on this. My son is one way one time at the store and the next he is crazy.

I think they go crazy in the store because they think it's just another big place to play in.
Maybe teaching them it is not a playground, and perhaps giving them stuff to do (like help with the grocery shopping) will occupy their time and minds while you are in the store.

My daughter follows the old line, "When she is good, she is very, very good, but when she is bad, she is horrid." On the days she goes crazy at the commissary, I just want to pull out a recording of her normal behavior so the other people stop glaring at me. Since that's not an option, I'll continue being horribly embarrassed. I feel your pain.

lock em in the car!

haha...TOTALLY kidding! I dont have kids yet but I can imagine how frustrating that must be for you...

I love those little kiddie carts they have at the commissary. They are a life saver and they do keep the kids occupied on helping with the shopping.

The problem is that you're "distracting" them, instead of laying down the law. You don't have control over your children, they have control over you. They know that when they act up, you'll entertain them. Don't give them toys or "distractions" when they misbehave -- because that'll only encourage those behaviors -- try putting back one of the grocery items that they enjoy (snack cakes, favorite cereal, chips...) and tell them that you'll put back another each time they get out of line -- but that if they behave until you're in the checkout line, you'll let them pick out a candy bar. They may throw a fit the first time, thinking it'll make you give in -- but if you stay strong and follow through, it'll work.

Good advice #9!

That's called bribery, I refuse to do that.

Control your kids. As was said above, lay down the law, so your children know a store is not their playground. Respect others property. Get them started now, so they don't end up like the little punks running around now days spray painting homes, and knocking down mail boxes!

I totally agree with following through. If you follow through, they will get the picture. If you give in...well you see what happens when you give in.

I agree with #9. When my kids act up in the store, I make THEM put back a treat/toy/whatever. I walk them back to the isle, and they put it back on the shelf. They know exactly why they have to put it back, and they also know that NO amount of crying or promising to be good will get that back. They get one chance to stop misbehaving, but if I have to tell them twice, that's it. The treat is GONE. If they are good the next trip to the store, then they can have it, but I DO NOT reward bad behavior with bribes and distractions. You can call me the mean, strict Mommy all you want. I don’t care. You can bet that my kids are NOT the ones people are rolling their eyes at.

Guess what?! You shop at the Commissary? That's on post.

There is also a lovely thing called "Hourly Care" at the Child Development Center. Seriously, it's $2-4 an hour depending on rank. Drop the kids off so they can play for an hour, you can shop in peace, other shoppers can shop in peace, and it's not going to break the bank.

Sometimes I wonder whether the people giving parenting advice even have kids. And suppose one did try all these brilliant suggestions. Ok, so I've put back the Oreos because my children no longer deserve them and now my 3year old is screaming and crying. I did my part. I laid down the law and now my children are dealing with the consequences. And as a parent, that IS something I'd do and I don't really need anyone to point it out to me. But no doubt while my kid is screaming about the Oreos, some other uptight woman will walk by and glare at me because, 'Oh, how could she let her kid scream like that?' Even if it happens only one time and my kids are absolute angels the next time something like this happens, someone will still get pissed and just assume that I can't control my kids because they happened to go to the commissary on the one day that my childrens' behavior is less than ideal. Jeez. Even FANTASTIC parents are going to have bad days with their kids. They're independent little people, not robots or animals. So yeah, let's just assume that because a kid is annoying you, he/she must have a terrible parent. That's a perfectly reasonable conclusion to come to. Thanks for that.

Actually my children are very well behaved outside of stores. I get comments all the time on well they are behaved and polite they are at restaurants, parks, schools, doctor's offices, etc... It just the stores my son decides to act up, and I don't think that it's wrong to give them a distraction, like pushing a little kiddie grocery cart that he can put some items in and push around. The kiddie cart is picked up when I get my grocery cart. So, it's not like I wait until he is acting up before I get it. I let him use to prevent the possibility of acting up. He actually looks forward to it, because he likes helping mommy.

Taking away snack items or candy bars won't work, because I don't buy unhealthy fatty foods for my kids to eat. They only get that kind of stuff on special occasion's like birthday's and holiday's.

I found the solution and it has helped 99% of the time the 1% of the problem is when he might accidentally knock into someone's grocery cart.

This started out as a vent, and you turn it into I don't have control of my kids.@@ I was venting, because my son accidentally knocked into a cart of stuck snob(who either doesn't have children or they are some where else), and she said I don't know why they have those god awful little carts, kids aren't responsible to be pushing them around. My son barely knocked into her, maybe she was just having a bad day.

I'm just sick and tired of judgemental people like the above poster making staements that they know nothing about and look down on those who are really trying to the best they can. Just because a child is acting up doesn't mean the parents can't controld their children. Give me a BREAK!!

FREE child care on post for those whom are deployed and the wives need to go do things...Hint ...take the free child care.

thats Y we only had 2 kids..I knew we would be in the ARMY, and I know what i can handle ALONE.

Since when does "laying down the law" include bribery with a candy bar??? That just means their behavior hinges on a big, fattening reward. To me, that's just another means of distraction. Have you heard of "Honey, we're killing the kids?"

Child Care on base? PLease!!! Why should I leave my kids with total strangers who they do not know. I'd feel into much of a rush to leave them at child care because I know my 3yr old would be screaming her head off the entire time because she scared. I've left my daughter briefly one time before with a stranger and she cried for an hour straight, and stopped when I came back to get her. Anyways, I've solved the commissary problem with the kiddie cart, and it has helped tremendously. I am a good mom, and I know I am.

I am one of those moms who respects that others don't want to be annoyed by my children. I use the drop in service if my kids are having an off day. I know my children well enough to know if it's a bad time to shop.

Don't get defensive when you're given advice. The bottom line is your children should NOT make another persons shopping experience a crappy one. And I'm sorry, but being hit by a cart (to the cart or on the person), gently or not by a child is annoying. If your kid can't control the cart, then they shouldn't be pushing it.

Oh, and if you don't want to be judged, don't post confessions and allow comments.

Why shouldn't she distract her child with letting them use a kiddie cart? What is wrong with that? It's better than giving them candy if they behave. If they are giving candy, chips, or cookies for behaving in the store the will always expect that, which isn't healthy. I'd rather let my child do the kiddie cart than give them candy for behaving. Is that how you get them to behave home is by giving them candy and snacks. Your child will be overweight for sure. The OP said her children are usually very well behaved. Now she is not in control because of the child acting up in the store.@@ Give me a break people. She sounds like she took control and did what she thinks is best by letting him help with the shopping. When I shop I often see children with stuffed toys or dolls, and that obviously there for a distraction as well and is no different in letting a child use a kiddie cart.

Do they have hourly care on the weekend? I have small children and it would be nice to go shopping without them every once in a while, but I usually shop on the weekend, because I work during the week.

You have a choice. You can put back the Oreos and deal with your kids throwing a tantrum ONCE, but learning their lesson when they realize that you're not going to give in -- or you can deal with them misbehaving EVERY TIME you're in the store, because they know you don't mean business and aren't going to provide any real consequences to their bad behavior.

Your children need to respect you. They need to know that you're in charge. They need to know that you can (and will) punish them when they're bad, and reward them when they're good. Rewarding good behavior isn't "bribery", it's positive reinforcement and encouragement to repeat those good behaviors. As far as HWKTK goes, those people give their children junk food ALL of the time, not as occasional treats -- there's no comparison.

Children are independent little people, but it's up to parents to set limits and teach them what is and isn't acceptable behavior.

It is possible to get your children to behave in public without bribery or beating them. The problem is it takes a lot of time a lot of consistancy and you need to start when they are a year old. Way to many parents now a days are to lazy to do that. I know darn well as the mother of 3 that kids act up. The question is how do you handle it? For me if that means leaving my cart to take them to the bathroom or out to the car to have a chat till they calm down and can behave them so be it. If you must bribe avoid food bribes it sets them up for bad things. I find telling them they can help me put away the groceries works just as well with a 5 year old. They so love to help. To the OP mom just ignore the people around you and work on finding a way to get them to behave. Please don't let them get away with the running though. The little cart running into people at times just try to make sure they don't hit and old or pregnant people and please make sure the child says sorry.

Comment 11, if you were referring to Comment 9 when you said it was bribery, it's actually called positive reinforcement.

http://life.familyeducation.com/communication/behavior-modification/29734.html

In my house (or at the grocery store) if you do something right you get praise....THAT is positive reinforcement...NOT a cookie.

Comment 11, if you were referring to Comment 9 when you said it was bribery, it's actually called positive reinforcement.

hahahaha pleaseeeee i love seeing the kids going crazy at the store!! thats one of the highlights of shopping! children will be children!! i dont have children and i prolly act just like them sometimes.

I also wonder if ppl giving advice truly have kids or are they talking out of their asses? My base drop in service is ONLY for those whose husband/wife is deployed. So that goes out the window and I have been told that sometimes....there may not even be any room for a kid in drop in.

ANYWAYS: Kudos for you for doing what you can w/ your kid. No kids are ever well behaved 100%. Keep doing what you are doing sister and who cares what others say!!

I'm getting pretty tired of people talking about the free childcare on post. I still don't know these people, nor do my kids. I don't care if it's free. If it's not something I feel comfortable with, I'm not leaving my kids there. There are my children we're talking about. I'm not just going to drop them off anywhere simply because it doesn't cost me. Yeah, I realize they're certified, but they're still total strangers. No thanks. And I'm not leaving my kids somewhere just because they're having an 'off day' and I don't want to deal with them. We'll stay home and deal with it together. On-post child care isnt' like a rental locker for you to drop your stuff in when you don't want to be bothered. These are our children for heaven's sake.

Don't give them the chance to act that way. I lay down the law in any store. Both of my kids have rules they can follow. Just offering advice so as maybe you can have better luck. My son is 5 too, and he is not allowed to get off the cart. He stands on the end not the sides cause that makes it wider. Sometimes he gets on that bar under the cart. But he behaves. They talk to any and everyone at the commissary and most think they are cute. But we have a standing rule. On the cart or hold a hand. He'd rather ride than walk so he behaves. My other is too young so she still rides in the cart seat.

Everyone has their own opinion. Maybe she will take some of the advice. I wouldn't call anyone a bad parent for choosing to do something that you don't agree with. Everyone has their own opinion on what good parenting is or is not. Heck I think I'm a good parent, but someone else may think some of the choices I've made are bad. I don't really care what other's think, because I know I'm a good parent. All that matters is what I think, not what someone else thinks.

#31,
I'm clueless as to why you would even think that daycare = rental lockers. Very warped thinking. These are children we're talking about, not coats!

But lady, you go ahead and let your children run your schedule for you, that'll work out just fine.. Much luck to ya!

To Comment 29-
Positive Reinforcement: "The addition of something pleasant (a reinforcer) to reward the desired response and thus lower the motivational drive for that reinforcer"

Hmmm well it looks like by definition a candy bar or cookie is ALSO positive reinforcement. If you stuff a candy bar in their face to get them to shut up, that's not right. But if you tell them that AFTER they behave, they can have a candy bar, that is positive reinforecment. Everyone does it differently but it works. I don't believe in bribery and there is a difference, but what comment #9 said was true and it works.

PS - I think the OP is doing a fine job either way. Kids will be kids and none of them will behave 100% of the time! Kudos to you OP!

Okay I am completely clueless as to where some of you have DROP OFF childcare. At my base, for hourly care you have to schedule it AT LEAST two weeks ahead. Who the heck wants to plan when you are going shopping two weeks ahead? Some of ya'll are just arrogant. Let the woman vent. That's what this damn place is for. Let her feel like it's okay to let a little stress out. Get the hell over it if the little kid rams you with the cart, I'm almost sure it would be an accident, not because the kid was being mean on purpose. Get a life and stop reading between the lines and saying she's a bad mom and that she can't handle her kids, you aren't there to see her and the children 24/7.

#34, I wrote #31. And I'm not referring to child care as rental lockers. In fact, I said the EXACT OPPOSITE pretty clearly. As in, 'it's not like a rental locker' and 'these are our children...' I meant only to say that some posters are suggesting we just go and drop our kids at the closest facility because, hey, it's free! And if it's free, and it's available to us, we should use it. My point was that 'free' and 'available' aren't really the qualifications I use to determine my choice of childcare. And as for your implication that my kids run my schedule, that's really not your place to say without having met my children (who actually are complimented on their behavior routinely, by the way). I don't consider choosing not to shop when they're cranky being ruled by them. It's a fairness thing. I don't necessarily always want to play or do their activities when I'm cranky,so I don't, and they give me my space when I need it. Why then should I drag them around town when they don't want to be there and it can be fairly easily avoided/rescheduled? My children and I give each other respect and we get it back. If that's 'being run by my kids' then I'm happy to do so.

And to post(er) #36, ours is like that (scheduled WAY in advance) too. I've left my kids in ACS childcare once and I kinda doubt that I'll do it again. Even if I were to schedule to use it, it sure as heck wouldn't be for something like grocery shopping. Either way, I'm pretty sure there's no emergency kid drop-off service around here...

First of all, I love it when people think that if you don't have kids, you know nothing about kids and how they act. There are people out there who have tons of experience with kids (maybe even more so than some mothers), even if they didn't bear them! GASP! Can you believe it?!?!?

But anyway, yes, it does get annoying when you see kids running around the store. And yes, people think "why can't she control her kids?". Why? Because the kids are not being controlled! Being a mother is a hard job, a really hard job. But why is it hard? Because a mother has to actually WORK at situations just like these.

To the original poster, please don't take offense when given parenting advice. Though it may sound harsh, these ladies are just trying to help you and your situation, so that you don't have to "vent" on here.

I really like the advice in #9. It's not rewarding the BAD behavior. The kids don't get a treat unless they are behaving like they are supposed to at the END of the trip. And it doesn't have to be a candy bar. You can substitute with a healthy snack or even take your children to the produce aisle and let them pick out their favorite fruit to eat later.

And no method will ever...EVER work the first time. This is something that will take a few tries to get it perfected, but it's well worth it in the end when you get those same compliments INSIDE the commisary as you get on the OUTSIDE.

=)

I hope all works out well for you.

What would I rather have? You telling your child that it is not acceptable behaviour to be running up and down the aisles in the supermarket. Then if they continue, you reinforcing your disapproval with their actions by disciplining them when you got home.

we never acted up in stores growing up but my mom was a spare the rod spoil the child kinda mom our warning before going in a store was "act up in here just remember when we get home there are no witnesses!"
That was enough for us

My daughter knows better than pull this stuff in a store, she wanted a toy once right before christmas and my husband said she couldnt have one, she DID NOT act up or scream and throw a fit, she did fold her arms with a sour look on her face but thats about it.
we taught our child respect just as my brother sister and I were taught. My daughter knows she throws a fit or screams about something or runs around like a wild animal while in a public place she will be grounded and or something of hers will be taken away,shed rather keep the things shes already got and be able to go outside and play with friends than have her things taken away and or not be allowed out to play with friends all because she acted up while at the store or some place like that.
I dont bribe her with getting a new toy or piece of candy, I let her know if shes good she wont have any of her things and playtime taken away, but if shes bad she will have all those things taken away.

I feel you! I only have 2, and it drives me crazy when I have to take them to the comissary, and I hate how judgemental the people can be when you have a cranky child in there, if only they actually thought about how their glares and rude comments only make things worse. And I am with you on the day care thing. I am not a fan of day care, I am not a fan of strangers that I know nothing about watching my kids. Plus, since my husband left, the kids will have nothing to do with day care, and I think it is cruel to send them to a place they hate, knowing they are going to cry until they are sick, just so I don't have people complaining at the store!

End the end, I have been the mean mom that punishes her kids in the store when they are bad. For my kids acting up in the commissary was a "get out of trouble free" pass becuase they figured out I don't like to punish them in the store and look like the mean mom, but that was the problem. So, they do a little better now, becuase they know there are consequences. Other things that I have found that help me out is my kids have special toys that they can only play with in the store, so, they are kinda distracted becasue it is a toy they don't get to play with very much. Also they have V.Smile pockets, so when I know I am going to the store on a certain day, I put them up for a few days and break them out at the store, it keeps them entertained. Another thing that helps with my daughter is letting her help with getting the food and making decisions, this makes her feel bigger, so he acts like it. I let her count the groceries as they go in the cart, and things like snacks and juice, I give her options and let her pick (only like 3 or 4 or we never get anywhere, lol)

But if it does come down to where you have to use day care, one thing you could do is go to the day care with your kids on days you don't need to take them, so that they can get familiar with the setting while still having you there as a safety net. Also, that can give you a chance to get to know the workers and how they handle things. I know that is how I am going to do it when it comes down to where I have to have day care, hopefully that isn't soon, lol.

But keep your head up! Stick to strick policies on how they should act in the store, and they will learn that the comissary is a place to behave, not play. And involve them in what you are doing, it helps them understand why you make them come there. And don't be afraid to be the mean mom! Just remember the ones that are making rude comments and glares, most the time don't have any children, or have someone to watch theirs all the time. And if it helps, ask them if they would rather having them ram them with a cart instead of screaming because they got punished (it is funny to see their faces, lol)

Not all of those people who glare and make comments are non-parents. Some of them are parents who know it's possible to teach children to behave properly -- or quickly put a stop to any misbehavior. They get bothered when they see people who are unwilling to manage and/or discipline the children
they chose to create.

Anyone who thinks tantrums and cart rammings are the only options, is clearly not doing their job as a parent very well.

If you dont trust on post childcare, then why not find a responsible babysitter that you do like or have a friend watch your kids while you shop? Most babysitters dont cost more than $5 an hour and it cant take more than 2 hours to shop. If you cant afford $10 every week or 2 then you must be budgeting wrong.

There is nothing wrong with you bringing your kids shopping I woudlnt leave mine with a stranger Either, But do keep them close by and if they cry they cry but they are not in other peoples way or getting hurt. Maybe think about a portable dvd player or somthing so the kids can watch that while you shop. Do know thow that If they get in the way of other shoppers and accidentally get hurt( hit by a cart or somthing or run into someone and they end up telling your kid to watch where they are walkn do not get mad at the person that said that Cause they have the right to and they also have the right to tell you to watch your kids.

lmao @ people leaving the advice to put them in hourly care. Why should a person have to leave their children with strangers so YOU can shop in peace?! WTF kinda sense is that?!

Well, OP I have to say that I have been in your shoes plenty of times. I am a good parent, and I have good kids. But even good kids aren't always good. Any honest parent could admit that.

I don't know what to say about the drop in care, because we don't have it here at Lewis. We have hourly care, and you're lucky to get a space for your kids for your pap smear appointment, even with the max 2 weeks notice. Must be nice to be able to just drop them off for free while you shop... I can't imagine because we don't all have that luxury.

I will say that since my DH left, and my kids have started misbehaving more in stores, I will stop right there in the middle of the store and stick them in time out. I don't care who likes it and they can scream their little brains out all they want. I figure, I can tough out the looks from the other moms a couple of times and eventually the lesson will be learned so we don't have to do it again. And to all those women that look at me like I'm Satan for making my kid cry in the middle of the store, I bet you'd look even worse if he was screaming and fighting with his sister throughout the whole store!

Well, not that I think anyone's gonna read this one by now, but, just in case. I'm one of "those" mom's who, when out in public and I see another mom's child having a tantrum, or what have you, I will just talk to the child, Like ask what's going on, if they are having fun in the store, ect. If the kid is running down the isles, then I will turn that into a game as well. If I can keep that kid busy for just 3 seconds while that mom can take a deep breath, (and maybe decide which ketchup is the better value)then why not? My kids were young once, and I ALWAYS loved it when people would talk to them. Maybe not so much in Wal-Mart, that might just be a bit scary, but in the commissary, when it is obviously another military wife, why not? Why not try to take just a few seconds off of her hands? That's just what I do. Hopefully people will read this.

As a mother of two occasional offenders of uptight commissary shoppers, I appreciate the people who take time to talk to my children and distract them for a minute. Sometimes it's just what they need to make them realize they were acting silly. Thanks!

Hourly care is a joke. Must be nice for the women who live on bases that provide it at the drop of a hat. Here you have to schedule it weeks in advance ((if you're lucky enough to get them all in at the same time and not get bumped for someones medical appt))even if your spouse is deployed. As for giving candy bars as rewards? That's not positive reinforcement. That's stick and carrot. Just try to get them to behave without a reward at the end after that. To the OP, everyone has hard days sometimes, and people who say their ids are perfect all the time are full of it. Kids are kids. Just ignore the people who glare at you or perhaps point out how rude it is to stare.

I love how everyone throws the "Lay down the law BS" in her face. And hey, if you're comfortable with throwing your kids off on any old person you don't know (known as "hourly care" or whatever) then by all means. I mean heaven forbid we act responsible and take our children shopping with us. I mean, however will they learn to behave in public if we never take them there? I'm with her-I don't buy junk food or "goodies" for my son. He never ever gets to pick something he wants in the store. But he has his days. He's a sweet angel a lot of the time, but sometimes, everything bugs him and he's in a funk. Heaven forbid my kid pees on your Wheaties that day and "makes it a bad shopping experience for you." I'm sorry, I don't realize shopping at a public grocery store was all about you. I'll make sure to remind myself of that next time. And when I give him a car to play with or his juice cup to drink and Oh No he drops it and might make a scene, I'll make sure to not give it back because "he's throwing a tantrum and I need to lay down the law or else you won't respect me for keeping my son in line." Pa-lease. You people must not have kids if you think it's really possible to keep a child or many children in line for a typical grocery store trip. And you know what, I DO have a talking to with my son. He knows better. He knows that I know it. So when I talk to him in that stern "you need your butt spanked boy" voice, he may cry and whine, but he knows. So I hope that doesn't ruin your day that my child may cry because I'm disciplining him. I mean, I'd hate to make it a bad experience for you. And PS I'm sure no one is reading this because this was posted so very long ago, but I do enjoy the occasional distractors in the store. They are great people-so thanks to those of you who try to get my kid's mind focused on something else.

Ok lets see where do I start. First of all like many have already said kids will be kids. I'm sure when the ones that are bitching were growing up you threw a fit in the store at least one before your parents "laid down the law." I have a 15 month old how do I lay down the law on her just curious?? If I spank her or spat her hand while we are in the store then I get the OMG she just hit her child look, but if I let her throw her fit I get the OMG can she not control her child look. Lets face it we as adults have bad days and good days and children are the same way. It's even harder when you live around the post while your husband is deployed and everytime your child see's a soldier in uniform they go nuts screaming for their daddy because they are to young to know that that's not daddy. Do I get onto her because she misses her dad I think not. O yeah and one last thing about the "free" child care for deployed wives. Yeah there were 22 count them 22 slots for the whole birgade. How in the hell am I suposted to get a slot where there are over 4,000 men in the birgade?? As far as the hourly care goes you have to make the apointment two to four weeks in advance and hope and pray to God that they still have the slot when you get there to drop your child off. One last thing that I just thought of. Did your parents drop you off at day care so they could go to the store?? I know mine didn't.

I actually just asked my mom if she ever remembers me being horrible in a grocery store, and she told me "You were the kind of kid I could give a stick and two rocks to and you would entertain yourself for hours." I always remember being too afraid of embarrassing my parents in public to do anything but keep my mouth shut. They never beat me or anything, but for some reason I was damn scared of them saying "I am disappointed in you." o.0 Still scares me to this day. shudders

I try to be patient with families whose kids are acting up in stores. One of my boys is a little special -- sometimes he's an angel in public and sometimes the stimulation of the colors and the sounds are too much and he falls apart. I do what I can to avoid going out when he's overtired; we NEVER run out for a loaf of bread after 4 pm or it bites me in the ass! Oy, the things I didn't expect when I had children!

GIVE HIM THE KIDDIE CART AND TELL HIM TO RACE IT UP AND DOWN THE ISLES, SERIOUSLY!!! Forget what everyone else thinks at least he will be tired out when you get home!!!!

I don't give a d&^$ about people staring at me and my screaming kids. And I don't give a hoot about them who glare at me when I do discipline my kids in public. I'm lucky they mostly listen but when they don't, they know the consequence. They are MY kids not theirs and if I am entrusted with the responsibility to take care of them, I do what a parent should. Sure, it's harder when I can't just leave them at home with a sitter or because of a DH. But I do feel sympathy to moms alone with kids. Those who judge you, that's their problem, not yours. Let them judge and you go on your merry way trying your best and know you are worth the parent you are.

My kids misbehave in the store, but they have never run up and down the aisles or rammed a cart into someone or the shelves. I have taught my kids when it's okay to act like kids and when it's not okay. Being in the store with other people is not an okay time to act like a monkey on steroids. I am one of those parents that looks at you and wonders who the boss is and no I'm not sorry that I think that of you and your kids. Like others have said, take them to the daycare or leave them at home with a friend. If you can't control them in public, you don't need to take them into public.

You know all kids are different. Different kids react to different situations. So your techniques that might have worked on your child, might not necessarily work on someone elses. Don't give people dirty looks when their children are acting a fool at the store and murmer "she should do this or do that." Nothing makes a mom want to get out of the store as fast as getting the look. So please people, a little compassion. Especially for new mothers. Especially for new young mothers. Sure they are young, but your glaring looks don't help matters at all.

Yes, I am one of those parents that looks at you, but I don't give dirty looks, nor do I glare. I just glance over at them and feel sorry that they haven't gotten their kids to mind them in a public place yet. I've been the new mom and the stressed mom with the hungry kids when my Dh is on the other side of the world, so I'm not perfect and neither are my kids, but they do know that if they misbehave in the store, they will reap the consequences. I have left full baskets behind before because my child(ren) couldn't get it together. Mind you, it's only happened about twice, but that was all that I needed to do to insure that they never acted up again. If it's a small child or baby, that's understandable, but when the child is old enough to talk and walk and knows the difference between the right way to act and the wrong way, yet chooses the wrong way, then there is something seriously wrong with the child and or the parent that allows them to act like that in public. The question is, who is the boss, the child or the parent? More times than not, it's the child because the parent doesn't want to deal with it.

Too much crap to read, but I'll say right now that I don't have kids (and when I do, they certainly won't act this way). I've always been annoyed when toddlers/kids are out in public and being obnoxious or even if baby is screaming. If you have errands to run, you ask your hubby to watch them...you ask one of your friends to watch them for a bit...you use the drop in on base. I should NOT have to listen to your children or deal with them, period. I was never like that as a child because my parents did lay the law down. I heard from their friends when they were going up all the great stories of how wonderful I was. When I had step-siblings, I also never saw any of them act like that because of my parents...same with my half brother (whom I'm years older than and helped raised). When I go to dinner, I shouldn't be listening to your kid from across the resturant OR even right next to me nor should I have to listen to your baby scream/cry. They have "curbside" now a days so stay home until they quit. And as for taking something away from them in the store and having the ball, you can take care of that too. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR KIDS PERIOD. Yes like I said, I don't have kids so don't preach to me about how I'll see one day, or whatever. As I said, I helped raised my brother and I had other siblings who were obnoxious brats so I KNOW it can be done. Don't be ass of a parent and make ME suffer because you can't control your kids.

"Too much crap to read, but I'll say right now that I don't have kids (and when I do, they certainly won't act this way)"

Stop in really I can't take it lol Rolls on the floor and laughs so hard I almost pissed on myself I said the same thing before I had kids
we all do
until the day karma came back and bit me on the ass as the day when I was alone in a grocery store with a screaming 6 month old in a baby carrier who at that moment had a horrible bout of the runs and poops all over me and then a 4 year old who decides to start opening all the cereal boxes all in a matter of 2 seconds

Sorry the rest of us mere mortals cannot be such a expert on parenting such as the "when I have kids they will never act like that" person

When I see a fellow parent having a tough time I offer a kind word and offer to help if neccesary Looking back all I have to say what till they are teens that is when the real fun begins

Believe me I know my oldest just got his temps and I would rather have him ripping open cereal boxes than being out their on the road

wow....some of you people are incredible. I tell ya. I have four children under the age of 5, and i had my sisters two kids for several weeks. My hubby has been working late preparing to deploy, and I had to take all the kids with me (all six under 5 years old). It wasn't the most pleasant thing I'd ever experience, and in fact pushing a cart with three kids, and walking three other kids while shopping was very difficult. The kids acted up, but when they did, i said something to them. At the end of the trip, i would tell them that because they were good, they could go outside and jump on the trampoline, or watch a movie, or eat dinner in the living room. but it was extremely difficult. overall though I felt they did a very good job, especially for how many there are. Most of the time if you shop off post I find people are a lot nicer to me and the kids. When i go on post people seem to stick to themselves, or sneer at me because of my age and number of children, but they don't know me, so whatever.

here's a nice story for you. I went to a walmart with all 6 kids to get motrin, one of the kids had a fever. My niece is special needs with CF...she has to be treated right away. I couldn't wait to find someone to watch her, I had to take her right then. When I got there, the kids were good, i gave her some motrin, and we decided to shop while we were out. i had to kids fussing...one wanted cheerios, and one of them didn't want to walk. She dropped herself to the floor, crossed her arms and refused to get up. So needless to say, I stood there, had a nice talk to them, ended up spanking one of them on the butt, and some old lady told me that I didn't deserve to have children if I had to spank them. I ignored her, actually i just bit my tongue, but continued my shopping with a little girl who started behaving herself. On my way through the store to the checkout isle, a gentleman I had passed told me I was brave for taking all the kids out at once. He had a screaming baby boy 7 weeks old in his cart.. He said he was frustrated and needed to take a break. I gave him a suggestion and he took it, said thank you and walked off. A few minutes later we hear that a child is missing and if we found her to bring her to customer service.. this father with the baby, had lost his three year old daughter in the store along with her two other brothers who went a different direction. So out of four children, he only knew where 1 was. The other three, were in different areas, doing whatever they wanted to do. I for the life of me couldn't understand how he lost his child, but I didn't judge him. The man was in tears, and he could barely keep it together, he learned from his mistake and I'm sure he's keeping a better eye out on them. why is it people can oooh and awwww over him being reunited with his daughter but they sneer when you spank your child??? Have some of you people really thought about what is right or wrong?

People are so arrogant that they think they're above having their children act up. they're children...they will behave or misbehave depending on their current mood. you can't just shelter them from going out in public, they'll never learn how to act in public then. And you can't just let them get away with what they're doing....so I guess a question would be is why do we judge how other people parenting, when none of us are perfect.

To the woman who posted this...ROCK ON GIRL!!! I feel your pain, we can't afford daycare or even a sitter, and i'm not leaving my babies with a stranger period. I am a mother, not because I had sex, but because I chose to be, therefore I choose to raise my children by my standards, not some other army wife's, or strangers..

This is more to the other commenters than the original confessor...cause I'm with ya girl! :)
Ok...so I find this interesting...I am the mother of 3 children (ages 4, 8 and 9)...who are guess what??? NOT perfect, 100% of the time. Just as, I imagine, the children of those with their "holyer than thou" attitude who previously commented are. If you're children (and you MUST have more than one to even be qualified to give such advice!) are THAT impecibly perfect...then they need to be showcased, because it's an obvious rarity. Children have fascinating personalities. They can be angels at home and terrors in stores...why? Because they can. Are we going to love them less? NOPE! And they know that. I won't lie, I give my kids the "you WILL behave in the store" speech before we even get out of the car. And for the most part, they do. But their not quiet. And they don't walk solemnly next to the cart as I stroll up and down the isles. They ask for this and whine about that and grab all the little coupons out of the dispenser that hang from the shelves... But bottom line...they're not hurting anyone. They're simply trying to entertain themselves in a world of grown-ups and food. I don't enjoy grocery shopping as much as the next person (ESPECIALLY at the commissary!!!), but I'm not going to pay someone to watch my children so that I can go grocery shopping. And it's not because I can't afford it...I work. (I know that puts me in a minority among other military wives, but I'm willing to take that chance to better our lives) But it's BECAUSE I work (and go to school FT) that I don't do that. I want to spend every moment possible with my kids. If you're grocery shopping and can't stand peoples kids crying/screaming/running the aisles...GET OVER IT! It's a fact of life. It will never change no matter HOW much you degrade people and try to tell them how to raise their kids. You were a child once too...were YOU as perfect as you claim YOUR kids are?? (By the way, your childrens behavior is all a matter of perspective...what YOU perceive as well behaved, someone else may see as obnoxious...so chew on that one....) If it bothers you THAT much...shop at WalMart at 3am...you have a better chance of your shopping trip being kid free! :)

And to the original confessor....Hang in there Momma! :) I will have to say that you are a much better person than I am because if I even suspect a snide look or someone says something about my childrens behavior...I will not hesitate to say something to that person...but that's just me! :)

No one-no one does it the RIGHT way. Do it your way! don't worry so much about what everyone else thinks about your kids. If you feel as though you are teaching them right-who can tell you otherwise. They don't know you!

DAMN! what's with all the child-haters?? We all live in this big, crowded, busy, loud, annoying world together. Get over yourselves and deal wit it!!!

BTW, maybe you ladies shopping alone are annoying the hell out of ME and my kids... waddling in front of me with your bellies & ass cracks spilling out of your jeans, so much make-up on my eyes want to throw up, or flappin' your loud-ass jaw on a cell phone about crap no one wants to hear about!!! Like I said, GET OVER YOURSELVES! We're all in this world together...

Who cares! Kids are gonna be kids. Even the most well-behaved are gonna have their moments. TRUST ME ON THIS ONE! I have first-hand experience.

Sweetie, don't listen the the ones saying to put them in hourly care. It's obvious they don't have children. My child acts like a complete terror sometimes. I just ignore her. It's more effective and I just laugh at people when they give me dirty looks. Occasionally I will ask them if they think they could do a better job getting her to stop acting wild. That usually shuts them up. It does NOT matter what other people think. You life your life like you need to, and don't worry about anyone else.