Sarah Palin for VP? - Many are cheering for another woman taking center stage, and many are worried that this is a woman who's been promoted for the wrong reasons and is going to be blamed when things don't go right.
Have you ever thought about joining the military? I can't say that I ever have and here are some of my reasons. Please feel free to comment and add yours!
I was so scared of this deployment changing him...hardening him, numbing him, giving him PTSD...but thankfully he has not seen anything that would cause those things. He has been safe and secure and other than the whole missing him like crazy part, this deployment has not been as bad as I'd psyched myself up for. But...he has changed drastically in a way that I never thought possible. He has started reading the bible and praying and cutting out swearing and drinking and looking at porn and at first I thought GREAT, good for him. He was raised Christian and has always believed, but hadn't fully lived the lifestyle since he moed out of his parents' house. But I am not a Christian. I am very spiritual but I do not believe in the bible or most of the things most Christians believe in. Now his emails are filled with quoted bible passages and asking me to tone down MY swearing...and wondering how we'll be able to raise our kids Christian when I have different beliefs. I think he doesn't even wanna have sex when he comes home (we're engaged, not married yet). I am sick to my stomach thinking that we have made it so far, gone through so much, have such an amazing relationship and now THIS might be what breaks us up. I am just as unwilling to convert or change my beliefs as he is. I know we need to find a compromise and common ground but he is not willing to adjust any of his beliefs...especially if it's "not in the bible!" He has essentially told me I am sinning by believing in science (I am a Psychology major...it's what I've learned and just WHAT I believe) and that I'm going to hell. I just don't know what to do...and religion is the touchiest subject ever. Not to mention, trying to come up with a happy medium for how we'll live the rest of our lives together over EMAIL is near impossible!! Please let him come home somewhat normal and still the man I fell in love with...
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Skinny guys gross me out. If you can LIFT UP your husband - that is fuckin' weird....read
People talk about missing the sex. It's been so long that I don't even think about the sex anymore. I just miss lying on the couch, watching TV together....read
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I stay up really late when he's gone because I hate climbing into that bed alone....read
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I masturbate to my husband's porn when he's not around......read
Without him I am incomplete....read
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He is still very much normal. Even if he believes something out don't. You said he won't budge because it's something he believes in. He shouldn't have to. Cutting out swearing isn't such a bad thing. And waiting to have sex, well there could be worse things. He is going to come back a stronger person and he just wants you to be there with him. I think he's taking it to the extreme with the science stuff but I don't know. Religion is hard. If you can't work it out you might want to figure it out now rather then later when you are married and have kids.
I'm a Christian (though I hate the word) and my husband is not, but we share the same values and it can work. When I say I am a Christian it doesn't mean that I don't swear or mess up or hate gays or bomb abortion clinics or go around thinking I'm better than everyone else. It seems like your husband has fallen victim to the Westernized version of Christianity and not the real thing. The REAL thing (according to scripture) is loving EVERYONE, not judging, practicing nonviolence, and doing a lot for the poor, sick and oppressed. While my husband does not believe that Jesus was neccesarily the son of God (like I do) he does support my values and opinions and we have a common goal of how we want to raise our children. Before we got married, I almost broke up with him because we didn't share the exact same beliefs, and some of my "Jesus-freak" friends still think that I made a mistake by marrying outside of my beliefs, but I feel now more than ever that I made the right choice.
If I were you I would seriously challenge him on what it means to be a "Christian." There's nothing wrong with cutting out porn and swearing, but that really isn't what it's about-at all. Send him the book The Irrestible Revolution by Shane Claiborne (you can youtube Shane Claiborne as well). A man who is truly walking with Christ is walking in love, not trying to shove their beliefs down peoples' throats or screaming at their fiances that they're "going to hell!!!" Ugh.
Because religion is such a touchy subject sometimes it's hard for couples to make it if they both believe devoutly on drastically different things.
I don't really know what to tell you, but if he's making such a big change, it's probably what he's going to be like forever. So, I guess your choices are to learn to deal and live with it or find someone else who shares the same beliefs that you do.
IF YOU LOVE HIM MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF THEN DEAL WITH IT. GOD WILL GUIDE YOU.
GOD ID GOD IN ANY LANGUAGE !!!
YOUR BOYFRIEND DID SEE SOMETHING AND THAT IS WHY HE HAS HAD HIS VALUES SHAKEN UP SO BAD
I AM NOT SAYING THIS IS THE ANSWER BUT AS I SAID IF YOU LOVE HIM THEN TRY TO FIND A SOLUTION.
MARRIAGE NOW A DAYS IS TOO SHORT. WE MAKE AND SIGN A CONTRACT FOR MARRIAGE FOR LIFE AND THE FIRST MISUNDERSTANDING WE ARE READY FOR A DIVORCE.
the man you fell in love is gone forever and a stranger replaced him. move on.
this is why people dont need to marry outside of their religeon
Am I the only one who finds it offensive that her fiance isn't "normal" anymore just because he found God?
OP here.....
To 9:25 - When "normal" was the man I fell in love with and everything I've known for 4 years...and NOW he is this...no it's not normal. It's not a bash to any other Christians but he's not the man I fell in love with now...everything has changed and to me and our relationship, no that's no longer normal.
To the first four people: thanks for the advice :)