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My husband has been in 9 years, and this is his first deployment (yes, we are VERY lucky). He has been wanting to cross train (again) but i've not been very supportive of this decision unitl lately. He supported me in a career move, and so I decided this is the life i married into, i need to support him. I wrote him a long letter saying that i would support him in his decision, and he writes back saying he thinks he's changing his mind, and wants to get out!! WTF. I just wish he had let me know he changed his mind, because now i feel like our future is up in the air agin.
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A lot of husbands "think out loud" and it will make you crazy not knowing if they want to get out, stay in, change jobs etc. etc. etc. I now just say, what ever you want honey, just let me know ahead of time so I can prepare. That's about it, it's annoying but better than worrying over it. - BTW we've been in eleven years and he's only deployed once, strange what cards we get dealt but like you I know we're lucky :)
A LOT of people want to get out when they're deployed. Having been deployed myself in the past, I completely understand that. (Actually, I DID get out after one tour, but that had more to do with my daughter than how much I hated life while I was deployed.)
My husband has been AD for 11 years (prior to that, he was Guard for 5, so he's got 16 years total, but his Guard time doesn't count toward retirement) and is coming up on reenlisting indefinitely. He just got home from his third tour. When he left for said tour, we planned on him staying in. About 13 months into this past deployment, he basically blew up on me saying how he doesn't want to do this anymore. He wants to get out, and go be a teacher. OK, fine. Troops to teachers is a great program, he's almost done with his degree and could finish before his ETS date, and as a former soldier, I know that it's totally inhuman to push someone to reenlist if they don't want to. So I went with it, started saving like a mofo, and getting ready to rejoin the civilian world in a couple years.
He came home two weeks ago, got orders to a PRIME assignment where the deployments are only like 4-6 months, and now plans to stay in until retirement once again. (The thing he hated the most was being gone for a year or longer every other year, so to have short deployments with virtually the same rotation as we have here is about as close to perfect as it gets these days, and he sees that.)
DO NOT freak over things said during deployments. They make just about everyone a little crazy. See how things go when he gets home. He'll probably be singing a very different tune.
Ugh, I feel the same way. My husband has changed his mind about re-enlisting 100 times since he's been deployed. I just wish he would make up his mind!