Try a different tactic. When my 3-year-old gets sassy, I give her a teaspoon of vinegar. If something nasty comes out of her mouth, something nasty goes itnto her mouth! I don't know if it'll work wtih a 10-year-old, but it's worth a shot!

Hmm, thats and idea. LOL I can just imagine how that would go over, but I used to get that from my dad, except was soap! ICK. I made up my mind the next eye roll or anykind of attitude pouring from her body, the soap in the mouth was next. I hope its just a stage b/c im fed up with her drama. Im pretty tolerant but shes testing me now but lord help her cuz ive lost all patience. :) I always see these other kids, younger than mine throwing tantrums and how spoiled they are and thier parents let them get away with it and I think my lucky stars my kid never did that but now... Im sure im not the only one who feels like this though. Thanks!

That was a rough age for us too. I'm not sure how we got through it but it was either her or me!! lol She got the hint I wasn't going to put up with her shit and she was going to miserable if she continued to act that way. Lots of groundings, missing out on activities with her friends, taking away the tv, video games(whatever they LOVE) and an occasional spanking. She's almost 14, and although she's not perfect, I'm happy to say she's a fairly well behaved teenager.

Don't tell me this shit, I have twin girls who are only 3 months old!

Don't tell me this shit, I have twin girls who are only 3 months old!

Sorry PP, LOL

Oh no, I have a 2 year old girl and she's ALREADY Miss Sassy Pants...I don't even want to know what it will be like when she's 10!

ok poster #1 i work for social services and around here that is considered child neglect/mistreatment. Sorry to tell you that but if anyone ever reports you to CPS for that you'll be in a load of trouble! Putting vinegar in a child's mouth is horrible. Next time you say something bad put some in your mouth and you'll see why the state says its child neglect

1:55, what should YOU have her do then...hmmm???? Have YOU ever had a 10 yr old child sass you so bad you wanted to slap her face into next week? Because if you haven't, whether you work for social services or not, don't tell her that's neglect... because it's actually not. A tablespoon of vinegar is actually gasp good for the body. It is a natural cleaner. It is NOT going to kill her... and yes, I have tasted it.

That said, I have 5 girls, 7, 6, 5, 4 and 15 months. I have had to use the Lying/ sassing juice before... also known as lemon juice in the grown up world. Make them hold it in their mouths for about 30 seconds and watch them PUCKER!!!! LOL Usually does the trick for us. And we have had to use soap before also, Lever 2000 aloe and cucumber apparently tastes awful. So I'll stick with that.
We do the other things also, take away loved possessions, no activities, time outs, and occasional spankings. It really depends on the level of sass or brattiness that comes about. You never know with them... there is so many of them!! But I stay on them like hawks so they generally don't get away with a lot...

you know what 516 she was just stating a FACT. Look it up or better yet call your social services office to find out. I too work for social servies in Texas and we get reports on this ALL the time and yes we have to follow through and yes parents are mandated into classes by a judge. Even though it may be GASP good for you, making a child drink it for punishment is a form of HARSH CHILD PUNISHMENT and is punished under CHILD NEGLECT. Do it in front of a social worker, hospital worker, teacher, or have your child mention it to someone who is mandated by law to report this and you'll be in parenting 101, court ordered by a judge. Stupid parents need to realize that their actions, weather it be for the good of the child or not can come back and bite them in the ass.

If the child is sassing her then she needs to reevaulate how she parents because obviously she isn't doing something right. A 10 year old is old enough to know right from wrong, all preteens test the water with parents and if you let them get away with it once, they'll do it again. Punish the behavior and NOT the child. and besides the poster in question wasn't directing her comment to her, but to the shitty poster who punishes her 3 year old by forceably making them drink vinegar. You would have to hold down a 3 year old to make them drink that, my 3 year old has to be held down for meds. So holding him down to make him drink straight up vinegar because they back talked is stupid, wrong, and should be punished.

and poster 516 what your doing is aganist the law too. Forceably making a child drink something, or forceably making them hold something in their mouth as a form of punishment is considered HARSH and UNUSAL Punishment and like i said you'd be manadated into parenting classes here. Did you know that some kids have died as a result of parents soaping a kids mouth? Look it up if you don't believe me. If i knew who you were i would have to report you. I'm mandated by law.

Oh and just because your a stupid parent doesn't make you any wiser than me. I do my job the way i'm suppose to. And i know my laws. I would have to come to your sorry asses house for this and kindly to your face tell you you can't do that but in my head i'm looking at you like a moron and thinking to myself how stupid one must be to think this was ok. yes i think the parents i see are a bunch of idiots, and yes i do believe that people should have to take a parenting class BEFORE having children. When idiots become parents it makes for idiot parenting..and you my friends are a bunch of idiots. I hope someone shoves that shit down your throat..if someone did you would have them arrested! So why can't your child do the same? That is where we come in. Don't do something to a child that you as adult wouldn't want another being to do to you. I really do hope you all get reported because i swear be greatful this is private or i'd report your asses to your state dept in a heartbeat!

as a er nurse i can tell you that the punishments mentioned in this post will require us to call and report it. I don't know if they would come out to look into but we would be required to report it. A little boy came into our er not breathing and swollen once due to a allergic reaction. His mother made him put the bar of soap in his mouth. He complained to his mom that he wasn't feeling good a few minutes after that, she then took him and put some dishwasher soap in his mouth for back talking. The boy would not hold still and keep it in there so she kept adding more until finially she realized something wasn't right. We got him taken care of and stablized but it took forever for us to get that story out of her. We reported her and i do believe a investigation into that case insued.

It would seem though, the punishment is not being effective if it must be done repeatedly. If it has to be done over and over again, stop and do something else.

As a loving parent, YES I would consider this as abuse and so will the child when they grow up. Stop now, discuss this with them, explain that is not appropriate or acceptable, not punish them.
It is extremely damaging to the child's self worth, this is parenting with force-parents who do this have had it done to them as children and have been told it was for their own good. Is it okay for your child to put soap in a playmates mouth if the playmate doesn't talk nice? Or are there better ways to handle it- use your words not soap. They are brainwashed and don't even realize that they have problems today as a result of their parents authoritarian parenting style- kids will rebel when they reach the teen years and the parent will not understand why and the ax will come down harder. Kids need to learn self-control not forced control- or the minute they get away from the forced control they go crazy. I don't understand why some parents expect their children to be perfect when they themselves are not- they fight and argue & swear at their spouse and don't get soap put in their mouth. They calm down and work it out. They are allowed to express their feelings including anger-yet some parents don't allow children to express anger and the child represses it and ends up on a therapists couch as an adult. Don't screw up your kids - improve on your own parents parenting-you might think you turned out okay-but your problems may not be obvious to you but to others that you have relationships. Please parent with love not force- read Bob Hoffman's Negative Love Syndrome and don't do further damage to your child's life today or tomorrow- and consider the World renowned Hoffman Process (grads-Kenny Loggins, Harvard grad students, people from all over the world) if you were abused as a child- it will be the most freeing experience of your life and you will be forever changed and so will the children you parent. Parenting should be more than dutiful and forced compliance- it should be joyful and supportive

5:56, glad you are in social services, that might be the best "place" for you... funny, I have never had to hold my children down to take medicine... EVER... but maybe that's because they know it's supposed to help them feel better, I don't know, I'm just guessing there...

"and poster 516 what your doing is aganist the law too. Forceably making a child drink something, or forceably making them hold something in their mouth as a form of punishment is considered HARSH and UNUSAL Punishment and like i said you'd be manadated into parenting classes here. Did you know that some kids have died as a result of parents soaping a kids mouth? Look it up if you don't believe me. If i knew who you were i would have to report you. I'm mandated by law."

Funny, I don't remember saying I MADE THEM DRINK IT... hold it in their mouths for (maybe) thirty seconds does not equal SWALLOWING...
And I don't recall saying that I cut the bars of soap up and slapped them on a plate and fed it to them for dinner. My kids actually eat home cooked meals... plus vegetables, how about your three year old... if you want to get into a pissing match.
And yes, I am very aware of every repercussion that goes along with any form of discipline I (may) administer as their parent, I too am in the health care field. I don't "soap" their mouths, they hold it there BETWEEN the lips, barely even there... get over yourself.

"When idiots become parents it makes for idiot parenting..and you my friends are a bunch of idiots."

I hope for your sake that your three year old never, ever comes to you and yells at you or tells you they don't love you or slams the door in your face or says they hate you... or whatever else kids/tweens/teenagers do... because when that day comes, you my dear one, will understand the desperation some parents go through. Not all of us abuse our children. Not all of us are "idiot parents" as you claim us to be. There is no cookie cutter for parenting, if so, give me the cutter and I will gladly cut myself from it because I don't know about anyone else, but this shit is hard and my kids didn't come with a manual.

6:07, You are right, I should be my kids playmates, not their parents. Give up the parenting and see where that gets them in 20 years.

Now that said, did I have the things "done" to me that I "do" to my children now? Yes, because they WORKED. Maybe not for you, but they worked for me. Rarely do I ever have to tell my kids to do things more than once, even at their ages. But they are kids, and as kids go, they get out of line... Is this occasionally okay, completely. But I refuse to have my children run amuck because I am using the "fish are friends not food" approach, that the sharks are so fond of on 'Finding Nemo'. Again, I am their parents, not their friends, and I am here to set boundaries for them. if not for me, then who??? My children are stable, well adjusted and doubted to need "therapy as an adult". If you did, I hope it worked for you. I parent with love, but also sternly. The Bible says "Spare the rod, spoil the child." and "Raise them up in the way in which they should go and they will not falter." I don't know about you, but if it's in the Bible, it's good enough for me.

I wasn't saying all parents are idiots..just the ones who use cruel punishment on their children..when you use something only a idiot will do then that makes you a idiot. There is no cutter for parenting your right there, but if you do make a mistake and WRONG one that the STATE sees as wrong you'll be in trouble.
I HATE parents who say well i turned out ok. Seriously new tests, laws, go aganist all that. You probably never wore a seatbelt, you probably rode a bike without a helmet, probably had a mom who either smoked, drank, or ate fish, soft cheeses while pregnant. Sure you turned out ok (or so you think) but that doesn't mean it was right.
and 6:07 wasn't saying you were suppose to be a playmate, i actually think she was right on in her thinking. If something doesn't work then it shouldn't be used. Putting vinegar in a 3 year olds mouth is extreme and totally unacceptable by STATE standards. I am not talking shit out of my mouth here folks so i don't know why you dumb fucks are trying to argue it. Call your local social services and ask them for cripes sakes. What your doing is wrong and if your caught doing it will face some court mandated thearpy and having CPS in your life for awhile until you meet what they think is a fit parent, trust me no social worker, no judge will find putting ANYTHING into a 3 year olds mouth as a form of punishment acceptable. I wasn't arguing about the 10 year old but the 3 year old in the first comment. Again argue me all you want but your wrong, i'm right and call your local social services office if you really must. I don't care..................idiot parents who think they know more than i do about laws drive me insane. (yes parents argue me all the time when i come, just as you are doing here..sorry honey but if i were assigned to you you'd be humilated and facing parenting sessions.)

oh and 728 get over your fucking self. Your in the health care field? yeah probalby as some dumb chick who answers the fucking phone. I dont' need to get over myself I HATE parents who think they know more than I do when i come to their damn houses..stupid bitch..and i am so glad i can call you things i so wish i could say to my "clients" Your a dumb ass parent who doesn't deserve the children you have. Your just some dumb fucking cunt who thinks cause she passed a few kids out her twat they are hers to do with as she sees fit. People in the 50-60's beat their kids and it was seen as ok..rules change, laws change, for a damn fucking reason!!!

a 3 year old doesn't deserve or need punishment as severe as putting ANYTIHNG into their mouths. I dont' care how long you hold it there, i don't care if its on the tounge its still wrong, harsh and unnacceptable with the state. You can't tell me a 3 year old just stands there while something as uncomfortable is done to them, especially sinec after 3 mintues they forgot what the hell they even did to deserve it in the first place. Maybe they stay still if they are SCARED of the person administering it to them.
I swear to God i wish they would make people take classes in dicipline when they had their babies. I hate having to teach it. A appropriate dicipline for a 3 year old is removing them from the situation, getting down on their level, eye to eye and in a raised but not yelling voice tell them what they did (cause typically at 3 they will have no clue), tell them why it was wrong, that you are sad they did it, and then put them on a couch, a chair, somewhere for a few minutes (i minute per age) go back remind them of why they were there (cause they typically forget), remind them how that made YOU feel..punishment over. If that doesnt' work then you could try throwing away a toy each time they mess up, or everytime they do good puta nickle in a jar, everytime they do bad remove a nickle. There are many more appropriate punishmetns for a 3 year old but putting something into their mouth, for whatever lenght of time is NOT one of them! The key is REMOVING THEM FROM THE SITUATION! I'm sorry but just going to the stupid soap, vinegar, whatever the fuck your going for is WRONG! Its HARSH! and its UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT! ten to 1 you probably dragged them by the arm, yelled at them or spanked them. YOu can't do more than one fucking punishment at a time and you can't sit there and say you don't. I see it ALL THE FUCKING TIME!
And you may not have to hold down your child to give them meds, but i bet your lying out your damn teeth when they say they take it wilingly. No child will willingly want something in their mouth that tastes nasty, unless of course they are SCARED OF YOU! All harsh punishements did yeterday, and to you was make you AFRAID of them and that is ALL the punishement of vinegar and soap is doing to your children today..they are scared of YOU.
I hope somebody reports you just so you can get the appropriate schooling and guidance in raising your children!

O here--WOW, Remind me never to post something like this again. Social Services is a bunch of B.S. (At least from the cases I've see first hand.) Never there when you need them and there when theres nothing going on. So stuff it ladies. I know its your job but it sucks. Maybe thats why half these kids in todays society get away with so much cuz they know social services will be at their side in one phone call when its called old fashioned discipline. My dad would prolly be in jail then cuz he did the soap, the wheeping willow branches, smack in the mouth etc. And I love him dearly for it, Maybe not at that time, but when I see kids today, I now know why and you can bet since I didnt do that to my 10 yr old, its probably why shes a sassy pants now and Im sorry, but I dont want her growing up into drugs, drinking, pregnant and on running the streets so Im gonna curve it now. Sorry if you think its harsh, neglect punishment. I call it tough love.
Thank you to all the other ladies for your support though!

1:55, 1st poster here. FYI, vinegar isn't poisonous. It's not like I'm putting rat poisoning in her mouth. I tiny bit of vinegar in her mouth isn't going to kill her. You've never eaten salt & vinegar chips? Or put vinegar on other food? Give me a break.

And to all of you social services people, no one mentioned making their child DRINK these nasty things! Putting something nasty on a kid's tongue is entirely different than making them drink it. And yes, I've put vinegar and lemon juice in my mouth, too.

Here's a question to all you social services people. Do you have kids of your own?

5:46, I had these same things done to me as a kid. And I agree with you. I am a stern strict mother, but a LOVING mother because I do not want my children to be little heathens that think that social services is like calling out for take out pizza... calling whenever you don't get your way from mommy and daddy... seriously, get mad at the people who truly aren't taking care of their children and beating and neglecting them. My kids are well fed, clothed, bathed, smart... oh, and I just asked them at their ages of 7,6,5,and 4... the 15 month old won't say, but I take it when she sucks the medicine out of the dropper that she doesn't mind it, but they said they don't mind the medicine. It doesn't generally taste bad and they know it is to help them get better.

And I also agree, salt & vinegar chips... those don't seem to kill ya. I mean I guess they could... if you ate them everyday, like 200 bags a day, but whatever... LOL

and 8:59... actually, me being in the medical field does require me to answer the phone... good call. But it's usually because I'm on call 24/7, asshole. I'm a respiratory therapist and am on call all the time. I've worked in the hospital and in home care. So before you judge people and call them, what was it you called me... a stupid bitch and a dumb fucking cunt who passed a couple kids out her twat... maybe you should figure out who the person really is... now who looks like the foolish idiot now??? Oh, and by the way, I only "passed" 2 of those 5 children out of my "twat" for your information. The other 3 are my husbands, their biological mother is a deadbeat mom who wants nothing to do with them... So kiss my fucking ass. You have one kid. I have 5. I do the best by them and I am their mom, the ONLY mom they have ever known. People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

And as you'll see, I have no 3 yr olds, so get off that soap box. I take appropriate action with every age level. My kids are generally well behaved so there is no need to treat them ugly or be ugly myself. And they do get time outs and taken immediately out of the situation that caused the trouble. Duh, I really thought that was the obvious thing to do as a parent... And I do give a reward for good behavior or actions. My kids do chores and when they go above and beyond what I have asked or what is expected of them on their daily tasks, they usually get a nickel or a dime... depending on the task. They unload the dishwasher, clean their own rooms, they clean their own bathroom and they pick up their own toys. They all know that when they come in the house, their shoes go in the shoe bucket, and if they forget all I have to say is, "Hey So&SO, where do shoes go??" And they go, "Oh yeah!" and run to the bucket and take them off... and not out of fear as you claim my children are so afraid of me.
And contrary to what you think I may or may not know, I do know the one minute rule for each year of age, and yes, I do that with time outs and yes, I think it's appropriate. And my kids hate it... but I don't care, because it gives them time to think over what they did and when it's over I make them repeat to me why they were in time out that way I know the time wasn't in vain... So why don't you take your opinions about other people and keep them to yourself.

This whole post started because the woman was saying she felt like she was going to go crazy because of a smart mouthed 13 yr old... Lets get back to the point.

OP, according to the social worker, you need to take your 13 yr old OUT of the situation she was sassing you in, put her in a 13 minute time out, not kicking and screaming and DON'T spank her on the way there because that's double punishment... and get her to STAY there. And then when she's done, calmly talk to her, tell her you are sad while having them sit on the couch, all the while reminding them how this made YOU feel and then... punishment over. If it doesn't work... throw her cell phone away... isn't that what 13 yr olds are into nowadays... if not she should still be into Hannah Montana or something... maybe you could throw her toothbrush away, I've known kids at that age that didn't really use them anyways...

Enough said.

7:06, OP here. Tty, but shes 10 but either way too old for a time out. LOL
Sorry, but for one, shes old enough for tougher punishment than a time out. And obviously that doesnt work or I wouldnt be ready to srangle her. So yeah, the favorites are gone already and nope, no cell phone yet, not gonna have one for a while anyways. Im not into that stage yet, letting her have cell phones, getting her nails done etc. Trying to keep her as young as possible and its hard these days b/c I see 10 yr olds who look 15. What do they put in these chicken nuggets and juices these days LOL. Ive just realized that doing what my dad did to us, is the way im going to have to go, b/c these new rules, tests etc are insane and if u ask me, dont work. And yes, i was afraid of my dad, WHEN I DID WRONG as well as I should have.Other than that, I grew up happy and loved. And my children should be afraid of me. Now with that said, I have a son who is 6 and im learing from my 10 yr old that what I did with her, is not gonna be the same with him. I was never afraid of my parents, but still am when I do something I know he doesnt approve of, and Im 32! So what does that say? I was brought up well. I was taught to love and respect your elders. What ever happened to that? I know, new rules came into play that we never should spank or put soaps in thier mouths, just put them in a little time out and then talk to them. Granted that may work for a while, but then they realize hey, thats all? I can live with that. I still discipline my kids in public, even when people stare. O well. They can call children services, or social services, come into my home, you will see its clean )most of the time, no bruises in inapropriate places (just the schins, etc from boys being boys and a girl who plays softball and being a tomboy with bruises on her legs.) I will flat out tell you i spank my children when needed, yank them by the arm or hell even her ponytail sometimes and my sons ears. Sometimes its the only way you can catch em. And if my children ever tell me they are going to call children services on me, then I will gladly help them find the number, greet you at the door and give you thier bags. Call me whatever you like, but thats me being a Parent, not thier BFF.
Sorry this turned out to be so long and I know some people are just trying to give me advice but the other people had to jump in and say its a form of neglect and wrong. Ive seen neglect. Ive seen children in wrong situations with crappy parents and ive seen the courts give the children to wrong people. So its not always in the childs best interest and I will never understand it. Some kids just dont stand a chance these days and its sad.

OP, I'm the commenter you're posting to and I couldn't agree more. Sounds like we had the same kind of up bringing. I'm sorry I got your daughters age wrong, wasn't thinking clearly, obviously you can tell from my post I was pissed. LOL Like you said, I loved my parents, but was afraid of them when I did something wrong, for I knew the eyes in the back of my momma's head was gonna find out!! Man that woman knew everything!! Hell, I'm 30 and she still does it to me too!

And I know how you feel about keeping them young as long as possible. The cell phone was an example. We don't even let our girls wear bikini swimsuits... it's one pieces all the way! Do you know how hard those are to find these days??? LOL And I discipline my children in public and I could care less if I get stares, they are my kids, I am the responsible party and if I choose to tell them to hold on to the basket so I know where they are and they aren't running all over the store, then, well... that's better than some parents I've seen. I am not their friend, I am mom, plain and simple... plenty enough time to be a friend when they are older.

Anyways, I think this got way out of hand when you were simply stating you felt like you were frustrated... some people huh...

PP, yes it got way out of hand! LOL But thats what happens on this site sometimes. thanks PP

im laughing at all these social workers on here preaching. they probably have brats for children.

Being a social worker does not make you a good mother. I bet that those "stupid mothers", as you called them, know more about parenting that you will ever learn in college.

I didn't finish reading all these books on here but seriously. Since when does how someone punish's their child mean that a social worker has to but in. As long as they aren't abusing their child then whatever. And no viniger in the mouth is not abuse. This day and age people are just ridiculous.

Ever heard the phrase "Spare the rod and spoil the child?" I have. And I WILL spank my child if he deserves it. I won't beat the living crap out of him, but he will learn who is in charge.

oh my god this is reatrded, vinegar isnt abuse. adn social services is a fucking joke. I was abused by my father adn they never did shit for me. I finally left with broken ribs, a busted lip, and other injuries I wos waste my time explaining and you know what they did then? fucking nothing because my father signed his rights away so they wouldnt even look at my injuries. DSS is a joke. They stalk vinegar giving parents but leave the ones that beat there kids to death alone.