Sometimes it's the best thing that has ever happened to someone; a blessing in disguis so to speak.

If it weren't for my ex being sleeping with anything that didn't get away and my husband's ex opening her legs for whoever we never would have met.

We're extrememly happy and they aren't :o)

Nice and I suppose you have your pshycology degree right OP? My husband hasnt cheated (that i know LOL) but that comment is ignorance at its best.

There must be a whole lot of "fake" men inhabiting the planet then.

my husband is a real man, and i agree with the op. if your husband cheats it's because he's a pig.

Yes we get drunk/lonely/horny/bored everything i'm sure you ladies experience at home but there are no excuses ladies do not buy their bullshit! It really does come down to maturity and prioritys. A man putting his wife and kids first will not even pujt hisself in the situation where he can cheat.

signed,

A REAL Man.

5:46 you know what she meant. Bitter bitch.

Seriously , you are stirring the pot arent you? I love how all you people are on here bashing cheaters. What do you know bout thier relationship? Calling them pigs and real men? Once again cheating is never the answer and is wrong. But I wonder if most of you are the ones that were on the other post about supporting gay rights and saying dont judge people?? Ive never had to experience cheating in a marraige and I hope I never will. But I cant see my self subjecting myself to this kind of bashing when I dont know everyones situations. If he or she is a male whore then yeah bash away. In a way, do you think your a real man by coming on here and bashing people? A real man could cry his eyes and and say he is sorry and wants to make amends, ask for forgiveness and turn his marraige around for the better. But thats right real men dont cry either right? Thats just as stupid as saying cheaters are pigs and feel sorry for the women who have been subjected to it. Call me whatever you'd like but at the end of the day you are still no better than what you were when you woke up.

7:55 what exactly is the point you're trying to make? I couldn't find one conclusive thought in your rambling.

Put down the crack pipe 8:20. Her post wasn't confusing at all.

I think it's funny that women are on here defending cheaters!!! LOL! No wonder the infidelity rate is so high! WOW!

Fuck all the cheaters, and all the stupid women for allowing it and staying with them HAHA!

AMEN, REAL MEN are NOT unfaithful. :D

wow we got some real ladies on here today dont we? Fuck all the cheaters and the stupid women who allow it? Lovely

7:55 OF COURSE they'll cry and beg and try to come back, they usually do! That doesn't make them more of a man, it just makes them even more pathetic.

Funny how people who oppose cheating call others bitter hags, or stupid when they dont agree with what someone else says. Or you say you must have been cheated on b/c you defend cheating. I dont see anyone defending them. What I see are fairly intelligent ladies saying you people dont know squat about others and thier relationships. What is it to you if man cheats or a wife? My husband and I have a married couple that the guy is awesome. They are happy and have a great family. I have known them for at least 8 yrs. They are now in thier mid 30's like us. I learned something last week that slipped out from my husband... Her husband cheated 10 yrs ago. They went thru a rough patch and seperated but not legally for a few months. A one time thing. They eventually worked it out obviously. I was shocked to say the least but I dont think I hate him or think of him any less. He is a good person and he loves his family. Maybe it took him cheating to realize what he had. I dont know. I would have never known if I didnt hear it from my husband. I guess my point is, why would you say something like that about people you dont know. You think you know them but you may not. If some of you can walk out of your marriage when someone cheats then good for you. But just b/c you did it means its right for others to feel the same as you.

10:03 here. I mean to put a ? at the end of my last sentence.

I wonder if those who are agreeing with the OP have been cheated on? You all sound very nasty and bitter.

In my last relationship, I was cheated on. That isn't the reason I think he is a piece of shit, but I think if you get married, you take a voe to be faithful, now I know not everyone agrees here and is true to their word, but I honestly think, sometimes people fuck up. The do it and don't realize how bad it really is. I am a firm believer in a second chance. I think someone who constantly cheats is the kind of person that doesn't deserve to be married, but really mistakes are part of being human!!!

I agree 10:51.

So when I married my DH he was a boy. He wasn't mature at all. Neither was I. Through the years we have put family first. Neither of us have ever cheated nor will we. It is safe to say he is now a MAN. And completely whipped.

The problem is the cheater.. not the person being cheated on.. My ex husband cheated on me for years (and I had no clue- i really didn't.. he played a very good game) and it wasn't until I found out that after the tears dried, and I had a chance to think about the situation that it wasn't MY problem. Most people who cheat are lacking something internally they are usually insecure, or they are seeking a feeling of fullfillment that they can feel anyways. Psychological reviews show that men and women both cheat, but for very different reasons, and most people admit that they love their spouses, but that they themselves are LACKING.. not the spouse. What i'm trying to say here is that it is a problem of the person who is cheating... it has nothing to do with if they love or set their priorities, it is truly a mental issue that the cheater has.

hello- 7:55am....if you haven't been through it, how the hell do you have the right to say shit about it?

my ex-asshole cheated on me with at least 3 different people from the day we got married. i didn't find out about any of it until the last one-another soldier who he got pregnant while they were in iraq together. i was sitting back here waiting for him, sending him packages, being lonely while he was over there getting his rocks off.

granted, we had gotten stationed in alaska, and after our divorce i met my husband there and never would if it weren't for the situation and asshole. i wouldn't have my beautiful daughter and be happier than i ever have been.

however-that doesn't take away from the fact that he was and still is an immature, seflish, self centered little boy.

ps-7:06...thank you for telling it like it is. i give credit where it is due, and only a real man would think like you. thank you again...... 3:45

3:45- i dont think you understood my post ...

well then please...explain it...cause to me, someone saying "well, you don't know the situation", especially when they've never been through it, is just ridiculous. it's never excusable...

If he or she is a male whore then yeah bash away.
That was from my post.
Apparently your ex didnt care, was immature, selfish and self centered and a whole lot more. My post was being nice, sorry if you took it completely the wrong way. There are some men who are truly sorry for a one time mistake and yes, you stand corrected when I say you dont know everyones situation so yeah I can say shit about it b/c to sit and categorize every man in the same boat as your husband is to me, sad. But maybe b/c you were cheated on, your still bitter and angry, who knows.
And I also said "Once again cheating is never the answer and is wrong." Maybe I just didnt explain myself very well.

i'm not bitter honey-i'm truly glad now because i wouldn't have my family that i have now.

however, i'm not naive enough to think that cheating is just an "oops, i'm sorry" mistake. it is a VERY RARE occasion when someone can really be trusted not to cheat again.

maybe if it happened to you, you'd have a different view on it. but i wouldn't wish what i went through and had to feel on anyone...

well im glad you know it all 2:12, but no, i dont judge people like that. everyone deserves a second chance. And btw, my father cheated on my mother 20 yrs ago...I was 12. They worked it out, she forgave him, eventually and so did my brother and my sister. People do change. So my father cheating on my mother was close enough. I know how you feel but I still dont think everyman deserves to be in the same rank as the OP stated.

my ex would have loved you...a wife who defends bad behavior...

Yeah thats me! lol you dont comprehend much of anything do you? Maybe thats why he repeatedly cheated on you. But something tells me you will comprehend that just fine... im sure you will come back with something nice though.

see, i could be a wicked bitch and say that i wish your husband would cheat on you so you would understand how it feels, but i'm not that mean. like i said-i wouldn't wish it on anyone, no matter how hateful they are.

my husband cheated on me because he was gone so much and had the opportunity, and thought it was his God-given right to do whatever he wanted because his parents let him do that from the day he was born. he had done it to every other woman he'd ever been with also, which i didn't find out until it was too late also. so thanks-it wasn't me...and it's never the other person's fault. while it might be a symptom of other problems in a marriage, it's not my fault that he couldn't be a grown up and work it out with me. i fixed his credit, raised his child, took care of him, dealt with his car obsession, never got into the married "not having sex" rut...it's so not my fault that he's an immature asshole...thanks

you dont think you were hateful by saying what you did in your other post (5:46?)
Ive come close enough to understand. He was my own father. My daddy. You are mean when you say that all men are in the same rank as your husband. I also said again, if they a male whore then BASH away. What is it about that thats so hard and made you come back with your 1st comment about talking smack about something I know nothing about. Then you say I defend it when I dont. Forgiving and defending are two different things. Understand all relationships are different even if I know cheating is wrong but it happens. You still sound bitter and angry and I guess you have that right and Im sorry if you are. Forgiving is nice once you let go. I felt that way about my father at one time and now I've grown to see for how it really is. If my father had done what your Ex did to you, no I doubt I could forgive him and I know my mother would have thrown him out on his bum. All situations are different.

your dad doing it is not close enough to understand because you have different feelings for your dad than a husband. totally different.

how is it that just because i, and other people on this post, have to have been cheated on, and why does that make us bitter? i'm not bitter-i'm smarter now and i won't take bullshit from anyone. that might make me strong, independent, smart and even a little bitchy, but just because i was cheated on and don't think it's excusable doesn't mean i'm freakin bitter.

if saying that cheating is wrong but it happens is what works for you, then more power to you...for me, i'm not willing to be treated like that. i won't tolerate it.

let's just call it even...neither of us is going to change the other's opinion. which is why this site's here...we're all different...you're right. excuse me for being strong and intolerant of cheaters.

:) Nope your right were not. I do see what you are saying to a point though PP, Your husband did it repeatedly and I wouldnt stand for it either. It wasn't just a simple mistake. Im in no way saying you should have stayed.
And when you say strong and intolerant, i take it that you are saying woman who try and work it out if thier husbands cheat one time and are truly sorry and is willing to do anything to get his family back, arent strong?? I think it takes a strong woman to do both.

you're right, i does take a strong woman to do either. however, personally, i don't think it's SMART to stick around...

and getting back to the original post, one way or another at least at the time they're doing the cheating, they are immature, selfish little boys. i'm sure if it happened to you, whether you forgave him or not, you'd have quite a few choice words worse than that for him. i don't think even the strongest woman would say "well, ok...you cheated. let's sit down and discuss it...it must have something to do with me to...i'm sorry i drove you to it...". i'm sure it would go something like "you sorry sonofabitch, go get a hotel room and get the hell out of my house before i throw a phone at you. you can come back when i'm sure i won't castrate you myself." because at the point he decided to go screw someone else, he was thinking of no one but himself. he wasn't thinking of you...cause i can promise if he's cheating, he's not crying through the whole thing. men don't work like we do...and at that point when he gets off and feels better about whatever it is, he's a selfish, immature little boy

REAL men who have problems with their marriage go inside it to find answers, not outside

At least you made me laugh 11:29. I dunno how they feel. I know my dad cried and cried for weeks and looked like death. I watched him vomit he was so sick and disgusted with himself. My mom told him good you deserve everything you get. And I couldnt blame her. Cant explain why he did and never will. And some men do deserve that second chance. And I use that term loosely.

At least you made me laugh 11:29. I dunno how they feel. I know my dad cried and cried for weeks and looked like death. I watched him vomit he was so sick and disgusted with himself. My mom told him good you deserve everything you get. And I couldnt blame her. Cant explain why he did and never will. And some men do deserve that second chance. And I use that term loosely. But I will agree, at that point, when he boinked another woman he was a selfish bastard.

thank you darlin-that makes me happy...and considering our different opinions, the fact that you'll grant me that much is good enough for me.

here's hoping you'll never have to find out honey...seriously...

:) ty. If I ever do, I will come back to this site and look you up! LOL

lol...in the name of hope in the human race, and male species, i won't keep an eye out for your future post. i'll just assume you're blissfully happy, and that goes for me too! ;)