I have diabetes. It was pretty well controlled with Metformin, diet, and exercise. I had a hysterectomy in April with a lot of complications. I spent most of 6 weeks in the hospital. My A1C came back today at 11.5 that is twice what it was before. I am really worried about this. Oh and to top it all off they think I have lupus. I also have bipolar, PTSD, OCD, anxiety disorder, and a hernia that needs surgery. I don't know how much more I can take. I go to the gym, but I am limited to what I can do because of the hernia. This just really sucks.

I hate bra shopping with a dying passion. They are either too big, too small. One breast hangs out, the other cowers in the other cup. I tried on 8 bras last night and gave up. The sales lady said, "but they are 30% off tonight only." I told her I didn't care I had way too much of the bras and left. Why can I not just find a bra I like that fits and is comfortable. I used to be able to. Then, I lost weight and now they are all just horrible. I have been fitted by 6 different people and they all tell me I am a different size. It's a bra conspiracy.

I have a steel rod in my femur and screws in my hip. There is a weird growth on the bone graph where they fixed my femur where it was shattered. I have had this for 23 years and will have it for the rest of my life. All thanks to a drunk driver. Anyway, anytime the weather changes my leg feels like someone is stabbing me. And there is nothing they can do to help it except give me pain pills and stretching exercises. And to top it all off the man who hit us got away and he was a repeat offender. The good thing about this is my kids, their friends, and my friends have never drove drunk.

Posted the other day about intense leg pain. Went to the ortho today. I am going tomorrow for another bone scan. Some of my bone grew back very thin. He thinks in this area, I might have micro fractures. There might be a lot of micro fractures causing all of this pain in my femur. I will be glad to find out what is causing this and to get it fixed. He wrote me an Rx for morphine and said he will keep an eye on my pain because I have been in intense pain. I hope I get to the end of this soon. It is awful.

Got my bone scan results today. I have a stress fracture in my hip. The bone in the graph where my femur is broken and meets my hip is very thin so it is cracking. I don't see the ortho dr. until next Weds. so they told me not to really worry about it until then. I am worried about it though. I am only 40. I am too young to have to worry about broken hips. I wonder what they do to treat this. And of all times for this to happen right before the holidays when I have a million things to do.

Update to DD situation. I am off to the hospital this morning for a meeting. I was told if I didn't come in they would just discharge her. She is currently not talking to me. I made her mad on the phone the other night and now she refuses to talk to me, which is fine with me. In the week since this latest crap has happened the entire front of my hair has turned gray. It is ridiculous. I had a little gray before, but now it is completely gray. Will add more later after the meeting.

My 13 yo DD is coming home from the hospital tomorrow. She is not stable on medication (they refused to start her back on all of her meds, only giving her one of the meds at a 75% less dosage than before). She is acting out in the hospital sexually, attention getting, verbally abusive, etc. And they are sending her home. I am so not ready for this, but I have to go pick her up like nothing is wrong. I am so sick of this. I don't know what will happen if she comes home and acts the way she did before.

Yesterday my 17 y.o. DD and her friend were followed to class and were called fag and gay all the way to class. This same boy got in trouble in January for calling our home, texting my daughter, harassing her through Facebook, and at school. He had texted her and asked her if he could F*CK her and she said no. He got mad and then started spreading rumors about her. He even had the nerve to have someone call me and go off on me because she got mad about him harassing her. I am so sick of this crap going on. My DD has enough going on in her life without having to deal with this crap.

My 13 y.o. DD caught the stove on fire today on purpose. Then, she tried to burn down the house. Then, she ran away. The police came out and looked for her and couldn't find her. She came back and I called the police again because they told me to. They can put me in jail because I am not letting her back in. I am done.

My oldest daughter is graduating next weekend. Today at the Senior award assembly she received a Full scholarship to the school of her choice, a $1,000 scholarship from the Urban League, and won Top Senior Drama Cast Member. I am so proud of her!!

Now that I am separated my kids keep asking me if I am going to date. My kids are 14, 16, 18, and 20 so they know their dad and I are not getting back together. I am not sure if I want to date. Of course I don't think there is anyone out there that would want me. I am old, overweight, have a broken hip, am Bipolar, and have a fractured wrist. I'm not exactly a catch.